Freedom is an Illusion
by ThAtOnEkIdXD
Summary: "They still cling onto hope with a strong unbreakable grasp, but I let go. Hope is dead to me." -Sakura. SasuSaku, one sided OroSasu.
1. Hope is Dead

**New story, yay!**

**Disclaimer: It kills me to say it, but I don't own.**

**I gotta warn you though, some pretty intense stuff (not really):**

**-one sided OroSasu. That means that there are going to potentially be some non-con yaoi scenes, I haven't decided yet if I want to include it. If that makes you uncomfortable, you might want to click the back button. I will warn you when there are yaoi scenes if you still want to read it. If that doesn't deter you, well then you're a trooper.**

**-mentions lots of non-con sex**

**-most characters are between 12-16 years of age (underage sex)**

**I think that's it. If you're still reading this, enjoy...**

_**Freedom is an Illusion**_

**Chapter 1**

**Hope is Dead**

**XoXoX**

I stood outside one of the many client rooms waiting for the client to make his exit. My eyes shot down to the floor when I heard the door open. He sighed contently while zipping up his pants. I can feel his lustful gaze on me. I refused to look up or move until he is out of sight.

The mess inside the room was something I had forced myself to get used to long ago. The poor girl laying on the floor had bruises on her face and various parts of her body. There was a sicken pinkish liquid with specks of red that decorated her inner thighs. She was drifting in and out of consciousness. My gut retched at the sight, though I have seen worse. I carefully tried to move her from the floor to the nearby bed, but her cries of pain notified me that she shouldn't be moved at the moment.

Her once vibrant brown eyes were now dull and almost lifeless. I stroked some of her brown hair out of her face. I wanted to cry, she was one of best friends. But I knew I had to heal her wounds before I break down.

She wanted to speak, but her voice was too strained to do so. I grabbed my medical kit and began the task of cleaning up all her wounds. Her groans of pain cause me to shudder every time I apply rubbing alcohol to different parts of her body. "I know, I know it hurts." I try to sympathize with her, but in all honesty I couldn't even begin to understand how she feels.

She was a sex slave. She is forced to entertain many men everyday, just like every other girl and some boys here. I didn't have to go through that. My master says that I can't please any man with the way I look. That tore something in me, but at the same time I was happy. I didn't have to sleep with adulterous men. But I always had to see the aftermath of what these people go through. My job is to prepare them for the next man to come in and repeat the amount of damage done.

I hate it.

I hate hearing their screams and pleas.

I hate seeing their blood and bruises.

I hate feeling their broken souls.

But most of all, I hate knowing that I can't do anything to help them.

It's not like I can kill my master and then set everyone free. We are all marked by our profession. Some other slave master will come and capture us, then we'll work for them. It always seems as though the last master was never as cruel as the next.

"Hurry up with that whore! There are clients out there waiting." Kabuto shouts impatiently at me. He was the master's right hand man, he was also the head doctor in the compound. He was the one who taught me everything I know now.

I glance over my shoulder at him. "She's pretty hurt. It could be a bit longer before she can continue."

"I don't care, do what you have to do and get to room 119." My heart nearly stopped, that was the room that Ino usually was in. He leaves and I can feel tears fall down my face. Tenten's weak hand gently brushes them away. I admire her strength; being able to do what she does and not cry. While I on the other hand can only imagine and that alone brings me to tears. After I'm done with the cleaning process, I help her sit upright.

It was almost quiet, I can hear in the distant a girl scream and a male laugh. "Go." My attention turned to her.

"What?"

"Go help her. I'll be fine." She said with a small smile. I didn't want to leave her, but I knew I had to. Ino might be extremely hurt. I gave her a hug before exiting her room. All I could do was hope that she would be okay.

Ino was very popular with the men. They loved how her body was curvy in all the right places and how she was only twelve. She was also very pretty, she looked like a model. Her hair was so long and blonde, her eyes were bluer than the ocean, and her lips were pleasantly plump. Men spent thousands of dollars just to have an hour with her. They never treated her the way she deserves to be treated. I have never once walked into her room and not found her curled up in a ball crying her eyes out.

That's the price you pay for beauty, I suppose. Her parents sold her here when she was ten because their flower shop was failing. Now they get ten percent of the money that is spent on Ino and their small flower shop has blossomed into a multimillion corporation. There is no justice in this world. They only came to see her once, and the only thing they could say was that they were sorry and thankful.

She was confused, but I was angry. They had more than enough money to set her free, but they didn't. They left her here. She was their fallback plan; if the business fails they can always count on their daughter. I've developed a grudge against her parents, while she still remains stunned by it all. She couldn't believe that the people that was supposed to love and care for her would actually force her into doing this.

This was a life that you wouldn't even wish for your worst enemy. And yet they sold her like a used car.

I wasn't surprised to see her in her usual spot crying. It was like this every time. I sat next to her and placed my hand on her shoulder. She looked up with a broken smile, obviously happy to see me.

"I can't stand this anymore." She said. "It's not fair! I don't deserve this! I never did anything wrong to anyone." No one deserves to be here. Most, if not all, of these people were here since they were little kids. Their pure and hopeful minds, tainted and crushed the moment they step foot on the compound. I never had much hope in life, but the little amount I did was long gone. I used to pray that one day my parents will find me and save me from this place.

I was so naive back then. My master opened my eyes when he told me that no one will ever love me. At first I didn't believe him but when I thought about it, it all made since. No parent in the world would just abandoned their kid near a dumpster. I was trash to them but once they found out about the sex trade business, I was a gold mine. They didn't care about me, they certainly didn't love me.

But it's okay. I could be in Ino's place. But I'm not because I'm not pretty enough.

Then again he doesn't find any of the girls very attractive. He even finds Ino to be repulsive, and she's drop dead gorgeous. I should be thankful for this because I wouldn't want to be his personal slave. He's so creepy, he didn't seem human most of the time. Everyone around him trembles when he speaks. He has a sadistically pleasant voice that keeps you on edge because he can say anything with a smile on his face.

He's condemned so many people to death, all with a smile. I hated to think about it, even more so to see it. Luckily I didn't have to see him often and if I did that means something is wrong or someone is about to die.

I want to say that it will be over soon. But I can only guarantee that if she wants to kill herself. And as bad as life is, no one wants to do that. They still cling onto hope with a strong unbreakable grasp, but I let go.

Hope is dead to me.

**XoXoX**

I'm in the lounge area of the compound. There are a lot of men in business suits here. One of the waitresses is really sick and can't work, so I had to fill in for her. I hate the men here. They think it's okay to slap every girl on the ass and talk to us as if we belong to them.

The urge to kill them all was strong, but I knew that there was no way for me to do so. Sitting at one of the V.I.P booths was a man who can be seen around here on any given day. He is the author of this terribly trashy porno book and comes here often for 'inspiration'. He looked at me and motioned me over to him. I now had the urge to vomit everywhere as I got closer to him. I hate old perverts, they are the worse kind.

"What's a pretty little girl like you doing here?" He knows damn well why I'm here. Fucking asshole is probably the reason I'm here. I don't remember what my captors look like, but I know they don't go around kidnapping people unless they were ordered to. There aren't that many people in this country that can afford slaves. I know he is one of them.

"Gotta pay the bills somehow." I replied sarcastically to his dumb question.

He was smart enough to realize that I was too young to be paying bills. At any rate, I don't get paid at all in exchange for living here for free. He smiles. "You know, I need another girl for this movie I'm filming. You interested?"

"My contract forbids me from doing anything that involves being in the media." I say like the voice from an answering machine. I walk away before we can continue our enlighten conversation. All slaves had contracts. What it says exactly varies on where you came from, what you look like, and how old you are. My master didn't like how I looked, therefore didn't want me to be publicized. He was ashamed of me.

His estate was somewhere up in the millions of dollars. The beauty of his 'property' contributes to that. The more beautiful you are, the more you're worth. Someone like Ino is worth at least a few hundred million dollars. While I am about three hundred thousand, at best. In the 'real estate' business that's not worth much if anything at all.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Rinji was scouring the lounge to make sure we are all on our best behavior. A few weeks ago a girl smacked a client in the face. She's still paying the price for that moment. And just a few days ago, someone accidentally tripped and spilled some drinks all over a high paying client.

She was drowned as punishment.

We all had on fake smiles and cheery attitudes while he walked by and inspected us. I tensed when I felt him behind me. He was a little too close for comfort. Then again he could several miles away from me and that's still too close. His hand rested on my hip. "I have to say, that outfit looks lovely on you."

I never expected him to say that. I didn't think that he like me none too much. Looking down at my almost nonexistent outfit, I could see why he might like it. The skirt was so short that if I bent down some lucky guy would get to see my ass. The shirt had a very low cut meaning to expose cleavage, but my breast were small so it didn't really look right. To finish it all off were the standard six inch heels.

Rinji was the master's left hand man. He was nowhere near as cruel as Kabuto. Some of the girls trusted him due to his laid back personality, but I didn't trust him at all. "It's a shame that Orochimaru-sama doesn't see the beauty that you will turn into." Silence was my response. He didn't like that so he turned me around to face him. I avoided looking into his black eyes until he lifted my chin up to look at him.

"I have to work." I say timidly. I'm not sure why I thought that excuse would work. He could get me out of doing work if he felt the need to. The atmosphere that surrounded us was telling me that he wanted me in the worse sense of the word.

Thankfully Kabuto came marching around the corner. "There you are! Orochimaru-sama needs us right now." He sent a glare at me like it was my fault Rinji wasn't where he needed to be before storming off with a reluctant Rinji following behind him.

**XoXoX**

By the end of the night I was exhausted. I couldn't wait to go to my small jail like room that I shared with Hinata, another good friend of mine. She was a nurse as well. Her father sold her about three years ago when her mother died. He thought that Hinata was a waste of space and doesn't deserve to bear the family name. In lieu of killing her, he just gave her up to master and the rest is history.

"How was your day?" She asked quietly. She was really shy. Most men would find that adorable but the problem is that she tends to faint and have seizures when placed in uncomfortable situations. That was seen as a turn off by many. So master decided just to make her a nurse.

"The same." Degrading, horrifying, hopeless; that was what I go through everyday.

A smile accompanied her words. "It could be worse." She said trying to see the brighter side of things. As much as I wanted to return the small gesture, I didn't. I knew that it could get worse, but that didn't make me happy.

"It could." I replied flatly.

"I wish someone would come and set us free." She said with a hint of sadness to her voice.

Wishing was a lot like hope -a waste of time. I used to wish that my parents would come and get me. When that didn't happen, I gave up. I was crushed that my master was right; no one would ever love me.

I don't say anything in response. I didn't want my negative outlook on the future to bring everyone else down. I'm sure that their parents somewhat regret condemning them to this life. I know mine aren't.

But I don't even care anymore.

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	2. Beauty is Flawed

**Chapter 2**

**Beauty is Flawed**

**XoXoX**

There's nothing quite like waking up in the morning and attempting to clean a blood soaked carpet. I was told by my superiors that clients find a dirty room unappealing and therefore wouldn't want to spend money to be there.

Fuck them. I don't give a damn if they ever want to spend money here again. I want them to all go crawl in a corner and die.

I didn't say that out loud, but I wanted to. The consequences would have been dire. For some reason I guess I'm scared of death. Maybe it's because I haven't had the chance to accomplish what I wanted to in life. Or maybe it's because I know that it wouldn't be a merciful death.

Kabuto is nothing short of a sadistic person. At night he prays that someone would misbehave just so he can mutilate or experiment on them. He's always had an odd obsession with the human body and how it works. Even more so with how easily it can break. He's always droning on about how delicate life is and how anything can end your existence. He wants me dead just because he never really liked me. Everyone else is just cause; there is no real reason.

My arms were starting to get sore from viciously scrubbing away the blood. But so far all it seems that I have done was smear the stain and make it look worse than what it was. I was never a real good house cleaner. That trait was something that was heavily desired by men who come here. They want wives who can cook, clean, and suck their dicks when they get home without any complaints. Such a woman only exist in fantasies.

I'm so unfit to be anyone's wife, according to the master. He's always right apparently.

As much as I wanted to dump a gallon of bleach on the stain, I knew it wouldn't do any good seeing as the carpet would most likely change colors. Then I would be in such big trouble for damaging the property. Although clients have been known to put holes through the wall when things got too rough. What do they get as punishment? A higher bill. What would I get? Castrated in front of everyone.

At this point I just want to throw my hands up and surrender. This blood stain is a formidable foe. I try to remove the stain one last time before throwing the brush to the opposite side of the room.

This is ridiculous.

There should be rules against this. But alas my superiors won't take too kindly to me making such suggestions. There are no unions that will vouch for us. Or protestors that will demand the return of our freedom. It's just; people who are afraid to stand up for themselves.

I hear a heavy thump in the room next door. I guess they're done. As I gather up the cleaning supplies and prepare to move, I can hear them talking about someone.

"_I heard he is worth a shit load of money and he ran away from his owner."_

I raised my eyebrow. Who the hell is dumb enough to runaway? They're going to get caught and severely punished for it.

"_They have an army of hunters looking for him."_

There is a major difference between slave hunters and slave catchers. The latter is comprised of two or three men. But the former is about thirty to sixty men. Poor thing, he isn't going to last long against the slave hunters. They are brutal and rarely show an ounce of mercy against whoever they are tracking. He must be very valuable to have a whole army sent after him.

"_I wish I could catch him. To have something like that in my collection would be great."_

I rolled my eyes. Slaves aren't seen as people but as little toys for people to play with. The best ones are put on display, they are not to be touched because of how fragile they are. It is clear that most people don't understand how delicate a life is. When there's a price tag on the person, only then is it appreciated. They are simply there for all to admire. For others to gawk at their beauty.

Sometimes slave masters come across that one special toy, and they won't want to share them with anyone. My master has never came across such a person. Though at times, Kabuto seems to flatter himself by claiming that he is the master's favorite. I can't say that I agree with him. There is nothing delicately beautiful with him. When he walks by the men here, they don't admire him. They barely even look at him.

He's ordinary.

Nothing special or worth preserving.

The two men stop talking and I assumed that they have left. I got up and walked over to the door, but ran into something on my way there. There were two arms encircling themselves around my waist. I looked up and am not surprised to see Rinji. I try to force myself away from him, but he doesn't budge. The bastard has the nerve to chuckle like the situation is funny. "You know you can't escape me."

The urge to vomit and smack him across the face was strong. Instead I stood still and looked at him with blank eyes. He smile while I frowned. "Unlike you, I have stuff to do."

"You're so cold." He remarked. My eyes widen as I felt his hand grope my ass. "You need to learn how to loosen up a little." He shoves me against the wall behind us, pinning my wrists to both sides of my head. I struggle to get free, but ultimately fail at the task. He inches closer to me and suddenly the amount of air in the world seems scarce. My last resort is to kick him where it hurts, but I'm not sure if that really is a smart idea.

I turn my head to face away from him while I feel his sickeningly wet tongue trail up my neck. He releases one of my hands and grabs me by the jaw, directing my sight back to him. I tried looking in his eyes to decipher what his next move was, but they didn't offer me anything. The space between us slowly disappeared until our lips were mashed together. I couldn't believe this was happening. I didn't want to believe it either.

After a few moments he pulled away with a smirk on his face. He was satisfied by his actions and walked away.

I on the other hand have never felt so dirty before in my life. It was just a kiss, but I felt his other intentions behind it. The only reason he didn't do what he really wanted to do was because he didn't want master to think less of him. He'll regard Rinji as nothing more than a flea ridden dog. Something which I suspect of being nothing short of the truth.

**XoXoX**

While I was on one of my short breaks, Kabuto came into my room and dragged me down to the surgical clinic. He didn't offer me any explanations or really give me a chance to keep up. He just kept tugging me along like a rag doll.

He shoved me into the room we were working in. "We gotta bury this bitch." He said crudely. On the table was a girl who looked like an angel. For someone who was dead, she looked gorgeous. I guess it's because when she was alive she was beautiful. Her skin glowed in the dim light. The features on her round face were at rest. I stared at her unopened eyes. She used to have crystal blue eyes that twinkled when she was happy. She made life here not seem so bad.

I walked to the other side to survey the damage. She had a massive skull fracture. Carefully I reached out to touch the back of her head, wincing as I felt the mushy texture of her brain behind it. I can tell that she has lost a lot of blood, since there was a lot of it that matted her hair.

It hurts to see someone you care about die. It hurts a lot more to break them down, organ by organ. Parts of her will live on, but never will they be whole.

Kabuto goes off to collect the supplies we need. I hate the human disposal process. It's like throwing away a piece of trash, they are no longer have worth to society. All they have done and striven for in their life, goes unrecognized. It is as if they weren't once human.

He appeared across from me, scalpel ready in hand. I grabbed the peripheral IV line and insert it through the skin on her arm. Seeing the blood flow from her arm through the tube and into the container made me sick to my stomach.

We were draining her life fluid. A small part of me was clinging to a small chance that she might be okay. Given her major injury, I knew she wasn't. I wonder what exactly did she do to deserve such a horrid way to die. I can't really bring myself to speculate any scenarios.

When the container was full, he began to make a vertical incision down her torso. He sliced through her abdominal muscle and peeled it back, exposing her ribcage and vital organs. Kabuto's eyes widen in excitement. A broad smile was plastered on his face. The scene in front of him caused him to tremble. The organs looked like gold to him. He doesn't even wear gloves when he does this. He cherishes the feeling so much that he doesn't want latex to separate it.

I only stand and hold out a container for him to place individual organs in. The fact that he is happy to be doing this is frightening. He gets way too much pleasure off this girl's pain. I would give anything to see him on this table. I would love to be the one disemboweling him. If he were still alive while it happened, that would be great. It would be poetic justice.

Too bad it's just a dream.

"Take this to the freezer." He shoved the cart towards me. Thankfully it missed hitting me and spilling everything over. I would have been the one stuck cleaning the mess up. I did as I was told without arguing. When I got back I found him dumping the girl's body in the incinerator.

I was horrified. "Why did you do that?" I did not mean to ask the question out loud, it slipped out.

He chuckled, finding it humorous. "She had flaws." He said with a sick smile.

I didn't see a thing wrong with her. She was beautiful.

That in it of itself is a flaw.

**XoXoX**

The master wants to see me.

I can't think of a time where that has ever been a good thing. He might be pissed at me for ruining the carpet. He could be upset that I was rude to one of the clients at the lounge. Either way I am going to be in serious trouble.

Slow steps will ensure that my fate will be prolonged. It will also make my master's patience level dwindle. I take fast steps. I can handle whatever he says to me, I might be able to handle whatever he does to me. I have to face the music sometime, might as well get it over with.

Even though he did call me, I knocked first. It's a habit that everyone around here makes sure they never break. You never know what you're going to walk into. I slowly open the door to his office. My eyesight was fixated on the floor. He told me that I was never allowed to look him directly in the eye unless I had permission to do so. Quite frankly I'm glad I don't have to look him in the eye. Those golden orbs could pierce right through you.

I look around the room. Nothing too out of ordinary. His fireplace was lit, the pillows on the couch were neatly placed, the books on the shelves were alphabetized, and his snakes were still slithering around in their glass cages.

Everything appeared fine, until I looked at him. He was fine, but the person in his arms looked as if they had been through absolute hell.

His was askew all over the place. It looked as if he had been stuck by lightning.

His arms and legs were covered in scratches like he had been running through a forest. I could see a few deep cuts, I think he must have been defending himself against someone. There were some that looked a few days old.

When it came down to his face, it didn't appear to be any better. A trail of blood ran down the side of his face. Underneath his eyes were black circles, he probably got little to no sleep. The look in his eyes were as if he had just seen a dozen people just die.

Poor thing.

Master cleared his throat. "This young man I have here in my arms needs medical assistance." Said boy kept staring ahead, not blinking. His hands were trembling greatly. "I trust you can fix him up right?"

"Yes my lord." My voice sounded timid.

Master slowly walked the boy over to me. When he stepped away the boy looked back at him with uncertainty. "It'll be fine. She isn't good for much, but her medical skills somewhat make up for what she lacks." He said as if I weren't even standing there. His opinion of me is so low.

I guide him to the nearby couch and urge him to sit down. "I'll be back to check up on him." Master said before taking his leave. It amazed me, he never cared for the welfare of any of his slaves, including the more expensive ones.

I brought a damp cloth to his face and he pulled away slightly. I wanted to reassure him that everything would be okay, but there's a small possibility that I would be lying. I tried again more slowly, he didn't pull away this time.

He must have been through a lot because when I used rubbing alcohol to clean his wounds, he didn't wince. He just sat there, staring off into space like he was reliving the moment prior to now over and over in his mind.

After I was done cleaning him up, I wrapped his arms up in bandages since that's where his most severe cuts are. I stepped back to survey my handy work.

Looking at him made me realize that there was something special with the way he looked. There was an undeniable beauty about him. He looked as if someone had taken a mass amount of their time to make. He resembled a well made china doll in every aspect.

I can tell he is a fragile as one.

I wonder how long it will be before someone breaks him.


	3. Faith is Blind

**I'm going to take a brief moment and thank all the people that favorited/followed/reviewed this story. It means a lot to me.**

**my-threesome, to answer your question, I do have a definite goal for this story. I know where it's going to go, but I don't have a full proof way of getting there. So yeah I'm winging it, with a goal in mind.**

**Onwards with the story. No, I still don't own Naruto.**

**Chapter 3**

**Faith is Blind**

**XoXoX**

The very faint sound of whispering awakens me from my sleep. It was Hinata. She was on her knees before her bed, hands clasped and eyes closed tight. She was praying.

Praying to someone who wasn't listening.

I don't criticize other people's beliefs. They have every right to believe in whatever they want. But I personally think it's a waste of time. To me, god is a lot like Santa Claus. Just a myth parents tell you so that you'll make good decisions in life. I guess some people are still at that stage where they need someone much larger than life to blame for the life they have.

Someone you can't see, hear, or feel, being responsible for how people's lives are. I fell for that, once upon a time ago. It helped then, but now I look back and think of what an idiot I was. So foolish, so stupid.

It's really pathetic.

I hate how easy it is to take advantage of a child's naivete. You can say anything you want to them and they'll listen because they trust you. They have no reason to believe that anyone would ever lie to them. They don't even know what lies are. It's always up to adults to determine what is true and what is not. Then adults go and mess everything up by saying it's okay to lie sometimes.

Sometimes? Why not just tell the truth? Who cares if it hurts? It's better to find out when you're young, then to find out that your whole entire life was a complete lie. Life becomes a lot easier to deal with that way. It makes you a lot stronger in the long run because you'll be constantly questioning everything you are told. Lies are a waste of time. God condemns all liars.

Yeah right.

If that were true we wouldn't even be alive right now. We live in a world full of recycled lies. I often think that religion was made to justify lies. They take a collection of false statements and tell people to believe them or they'll suffer for all eternity.

They'll rot in hell.

Is that honestly supposed to be a bad thing? That sounds like a reward, rather than a punishment. Hell seems like it would be a very fun vacation spot. Earth sucks, it really does. They'll all wake up one day and realize that. One night, I sat by myself and wondered how may people do I know that would actually get into heaven. The answer is none because sex before marriage is a sin. No exceptions.

I try my best not to spread my thoughts around to others, because I don't want to be the one responsible for crushing their hopes. I don't want to watch them as they witness all their beliefs be brought to light; exposed for the lies they are.

When you think about it, things just don't add up. People do good things, and yet nothing but the worst happens to them. What kind of god punishes the good people and allows the bad ones to prosper? Why would he have his own son killed for people who didn't give two shits about him? Why would he approve of a book so ambiguously written that it is interpreted in ways that condemn different people?

It doesn't make sense.

I roll over in an attempt to tune her out. Her quiet prayers were starting to irritate me. I wanted to shout at her that it wasn't going to work. That no one was listening to her. She is nothing to whoever she believes is watching over her. If only I didn't care about her so much. Then it would be easy to tell her the truth. But I bite my tongue out of respect. It's only fair. Sooner or later she'll see the true light.

As I said before I have nothing against religion, it just never worked out for me.

"Sakura-chan?" I hear her call my name. "Do you believe in anything?" She asks, not paying attention to the fact that I haven't acknowledged her the first time.

What do I believe in? "The truth." I answered bluntly. I knew she was confused and I'm not even looking at her. I don't feel like elaborating my answer. Part of the growing up process is figuring out things for yourself. Never rely on anyone to tell you anything that you can find out for yourself. Some things are just better known the way you want to know them, and not by what anyone else wants.

She remained silent, probably to decipher what I had just said. I try to cryptic when talking about these sorts of things to others. I never truly say what I want to say to them because I'm never in the mood to explain things to them. Though I'm one of youngest people in here, mentally I feel like I'm older than all of them combined.

"The truth." She repeats with a bit of uncertainty in her voice.

"Yep."

She wanted to ask what that meant, but didn't. She was probably going to ask some of the other girls. I'm glad, because they're just as naïve as she is. They can discuss it for years and years to come, but they'll never find out what it means if they keep up the whole 'have faith, things will get better' mantra. Cause newsflash: faith has failed all of us. We should never keep believing in something that doesn't work.

It's stupid. Clearly logic is something that goes way beyond these girls' heads.

It's a waste of time. We could be focusing on other things. Like how STD's affect the human body system. Then maybe we'll be able to come up with a cure. It's not like we have anything else to do. We have all the necessary equipment and a lot of bodies at our disposal, I don't see why not. It would be nice to put our endless time here to some good use.

**XoXoX**

A new chore was added to my everyday routine. I didn't volunteer for it, I wasn't asked to do it. I had to do it, because my pathetic little life depends on it. The only reason why I'm not upset is because it's a fairly simply task.

I have to check on that poor boy who came here a few days ago.

When I entered the room he was staying in, I found him staring out the window. I rarely ever see him otherwise. Whatever is out there, really has a firm hold on his attention. He didn't even realize that I was here until I cleared my throat. His head turned slightly in my direction. "Is everything alright?" I ask him, he shrugs in response. I never heard him speak in the short time that he has been here. I guess he's still in shock.

"Can I get you anything?" He shakes his head. Well I've done my job, so I can leave. I'm grateful that he isn't the type of person who makes me run all sorts of different errands for him. Those people are the worse. They never seem to understand that I'm not a maid, I only asked you if you wanted anything out of courtesy. Ino was one of those people, but we've come a long way from that.

I silently take my leave and head down the hallway where I can hear the faint sound of grunting and screaming. Will there ever be a time where these men will just get sick of torturing those poor souls and just leave? Where are their wives at? Surely someone in this world has to find them attractive enough to keep them from being here. That is unless they retain their horrid personalities they show here, than I can see why they are all single.

Maybe the only reason they come here is to take out their aggressions about how they are still single and how no one would ever love them. I guess it's only logical to treat someone like shit, because they will never give you the time of day.

But why underage kids? Were the men's dreams crushed as children, so they have to go around and crush other children's dreams? What do they stand to gain in the long run? The satisfaction of breaking a kid's pure spirit? That doesn't seem like a reward worth striving for. It is something to think about, but I don't want to even attempt to sympathize with these men. It's not our fault their lives suck.

They make it seem like it is though.

We can't change their past, but they can do themselves, as well as us, a favor and get over it if it was so bad. All we are here to do is provide them instant gratification and flash them a clean smile while they ejaculate all over us.

Damn, all these random thoughts made me forget what I was supposed to do next as well as not pay attention to where I was walking. I'm treading in forbidden territory now. The master's room is down this hallway. No one is allowed in his room, not even Kabuto or Rinji. Before I could even command my foot to turn, I saw the master's doorknob move.

I froze right then and there.

He's in his room. Crap. I'm gonna die.

On instinct I ran into the closest room and quickly closed the door, making sure to be quiet about it. After I heard retreating footsteps, I began hyperventilating. That was way too close. Had I stayed there a second longer, I would have been a goner.

I looked at the stuff in what I'm guessing is a bedroom. Weird, I thought this room was empty. I walked over towards the window and opened it. This place needs a little fresh air. My hands are still trembling at the thought of being caught.

The view outside was not interesting in the least bit. When I pushed myself away from the window, I ran into an obstacle. A rather annoying one at that. I'm not in the mood to deal with Rinji right now.

I didn't even get a chance to speak before he tossed me onto the bed. My reflexes were completely slowed down, I didn't see that coming. I attempted to get up, but he swooped down on me like I'm his prey and held me in place. He had a smirk on his face. "We meet again, my dear." He says happily.

I'm not so joyful. "Yes, that's great. Now get off me." I commanded.

"You couldn't stand to be away from me, could you?" He nestled his face in the crook of my neck. "I'm always here for you." He whispered.

I cringed at the sound of his voice, not liking how he was attempting to seduce me. One of his hands slipped up my shirt and underneath my bra. His mouth instantly covered mine, as if he knew that I was about to protest his actions. All my strength just didn't seem like it was enough. No matter how much I push him away, he just wouldn't move. I squirmed a little and ran into something.

All my movement ceased. He was really getting turned on by this. It would only be a matter of time before this already bad situation gets way worse.

I thought about screaming for help, but there are way too many flaws with that plan.

I could just...let it happen. But I don't want to. In all honesty, I'm afraid. I've seen what involuntary sex does to people. It looks like a part of them has been ripped out and stomped all over. They just aren't the same.

I can't just lay here and let him have his way with me. I lifted my knee up and slammed it against his crotch.

"Ahhh, fuck!" He gritted in pain. I used this moment to my advantage and threw him off of me. When I heard his body fall to the floor, I didn't hesitate to run out the door. I don't care if master sees me here, where I'm not supposed to be. He can do whatever he wants to me, I just need to get away from Rinji.

In my haste, I ran right into poor Hinata. We both fell to the floor. I was breathing heavily, while she looked at me with a concerned look on her face. "Sakura-chan, what's the matter?" She asks.

I didn't want to tell her what just happened. My problems shouldn't become her problems. She already has a lot to deal with, I don't want to add anything. "Umm...I uh..." I bit my lip trying to think of something good to say. "I saw a...spider! I-it was really big...yeah. It freaked me out. So I ran."

At the moment I can't tell if she bought it or not. "Okay." She said with a hint of disbelief in her voice.

I got up and walked away, berating myself for such a poorly fabricated lie. Spiders? Seriously? What the hell was I thinking? I haven't been afraid of spiders since I was five.

But she is blind, and will remain that way for a bit of time. Besides, it's not like she could do anything to help me anyway. So why even bother?

A thought just now hit me. Aside from the truth, I believe in something else.

Faith is for the blind and stupid.

**XoXoX**

**R&R**


	4. Misery is Endless

**Chapter 4**

**Misery is Endless**

**XoXoX**

My ideal morning does not start with being snatched up from my room and dragged down a hallway to who knows where. I was so surprised that I actually started screaming and pleading for whoever it is to let me go. The person attempted to shut me up by covering my mouth with his hand, but even he realized that wasn't a good idea. So when screaming didn't work, I started to fight. But my hits didn't seem to do any damage. He looked down at me as if I was an annoyance.

Well excuse me for not wanting to be kidnapped.

The man's grip on my arm was extremely tight. For a minute I thought it would break. Maybe it's the fact that the attack was completely random, but I'm kind of afraid right now. He could do whatever he wanted to me and no one would know. He could kill me and no one would care. I almost thought my life was over. Then he made the mistake of letting me go. Angered that he attempted to abduct me, I slammed my elbow against his gut, knocking the air out of his lungs. Then I kicked his body to the floor.

Part of me wanted to bask in the knowledge that I have overpowered my capture, but unfortunately there were more than one. Another male came up behind me and trapped me in a strong, unbreakable grasp. All I could do was watch as I was taken somewhere against my will. I wanted to fight, but I couldn't move.

I presume we have reached our destination since the man kicked open the door and tossed me in the room like a used rag. I looked ahead of me and saw a girl bound and gagged, laying on the floor.

Her auburn locks were stuck to her face and hazel eyes were wide with absolute fear. Part of her gray shirt was ripped to expose a less than modest amount of cleavage.

I avoided direct eye contact with the girl. This was a humiliating situation for her, and me being here sort of makes it worse. Truth be told, I didn't want to know if I was going to be in the same exact situation as her. Nor did I want to give her any false sense of hope. They were going to do whatever they wanted to her, there's nothing I or herself can do to fix that.

The men that captured me as well as two other men entered the room with sick smiles plastered on their hideous faces. The one that appeared to be the oldest picked the girl off the floor by pulling her hair. Her muffled screams were loud and clear to me. Her body trembled with fear, not liking where this is going.

I hated where this is going.

These sick fucks want someone to watch them as they take this girl's innocence. I've heard about it before. It's not really uncommon, it's just sick. They get some sort of pleasure from doing this. I will never know how or why they find this so erotic. But I really don't care.

There is no part of me that desires watching this girl get raped by these pathetic excuses for men. But because one of the male jerked my head up by my hair, I can tell that I don't have any choice in the matter. I was going to help these men get turned on by such an immoral act.

No, I couldn't. Not while I'm still alive and conscious.

It hurts to say, but I'm not going to be fighting to save her. I have to save myself first, before I can think of others. There's no sense in helping others when you yourself are in danger. Then you're both screwed.

While the other three guys were busy with their victim, I glance over at the guy standing next to me. He doesn't appear to be tough. I'm almost sure that I can take him down easily. But I hate to be wrong about this sort of thing, so I'll have to use the element of surprise. I stay on the ground, pretending to be hurt. This sort of pleases the man beside me. He looks at the scene in front of him with interest, not paying any mind to me.

I slowly inch closer to him and he is oblivious. I try to focus solely on him and not on the muffled cries of the girl was emitting.

The man took two steps forward, causing me to cease all movement. He was unbuttoning his pants and licking his lips. He wants in on the action. Being way too caught up in the scene, he dropped his guard. His stupidity amazes me.

His spine is completely exposed. It was almost as if he didn't care for his life right now. The poor fool won't know what hit him.

Literally.

The sound of bones cracking and a loud, pained yell silenced the room. Even the girl stopped crying and trying to escape. He fell to the floor with an audible thud. He was withering in pain, shouting all kinds of expletives.

The other two stood in quiet shock. They were surprised that such a thing could happen. Their comrade should have been doing his job instead of trying to get off on the little show they were preparing.

The door, the hallway, some place far from here seemed so close. But the men were a lot closer. My fingers barely grazed the knob before I was forcibly pulled back. A large fist was aimed straight for my head. A searing pain shot panned through my head, which left me completely stunned. My thoughts scattered all over the place like a bunch of roaches dispersing to find a new hiding place.

It felt as if parts of my brain were being pounded with mallet.

Suddenly I couldn't think of anything. My name, who I was, where I was; I wouldn't be able to tell. My mind blanked, all there were in place of my thoughts was emptiness. A blank, depthless, foggy space.

Then I couldn't see anything.

Or feel...

**XoXoX**

Waking up some time later was almost like an outer body experience. I don't even how long ago that incident was. I wasn't sure if what happened earlier was even real. Could it have been a figment of my imagination? If it was, then I've let reality blend in a little too much.

This made me look around to observe my surroundings for a while. It took me a long while to come up with the fact that I was now back in my room. I don't really care how I got here, I wanted to know who brought me here. Who was the one that picked my unconscious body up? I can't remember. I'm sure whoever it was will make it known sooner or later.

The back of my head was throbbing in excruciating pain.

Why the hell did I act so stupid?

There were four men in that room. What on Earth made me think that I could take them down? The more I think about it, the more my head started to hurt. I endured it because I really want to know what was going through my mind at the time. I tried coming up with something that would satisfy my mind, without straining myself. I drew blanks, maybe the answer will come later. For now I need to rest.

I looked up at the ceiling like it was the most interesting thing in the world. It was plain and wasn't too thought provoking. I didn't want to do much thinking or moving right now. Though I really should get up and take some pills. Chances are that I have a moderate concussion, so I shouldn't fall asleep.

Some part of me wants to be doing something, because laying in this dark room is boring. Then again, being exposed to light right now isn't exactly a good idea. I wondered where Hinata was, her being here would make things a bit better.

Actually someone taking a hammer and smashing it against my skull a few times would make things a lot better. Or maybe someone smothering me with a pillow. Anything to put me out of my misery would be great.

The door opened and in came Kabuto with a look on his face that said I had to go do something. "You're not getting paid to sit on your lazy ass all day." He snarled like a vicious dog trying to get off his leash.

I'm not getting paid at all. So why shouldn't I be able to sit around all day?

"Get your ass up and get that kid, Orochimaru-sama wants to see him in the foyer." He barked and stomped his way out. I wonder what's got him in such a bad mood. He's probably pissed that master didn't call for him. I still don't know why he thinks he's so special in the master's eyes.

I raised myself off the bed slowly, staggering a bit as I felt my head pulse. Each step I took brought pain. If only I could stay in bed. Why couldn't Kabuto or the master himself get the boy? It's not like they're doing anything that is so important.

I hate how his room feels like it's so far away. I took a hundred and fifty steps and I'm still not even halfway there. I wanted to give up and not do what I was told, but then an aching head would be the last thing I would be worrying about.

A simple task such as opening a door felt like moving a giant boulder.

There he was sitting on the bed, hugging his knees close to his chest. His gaze was plain and didn't appear to be looking at anything in particular. His overall facial expression was neutral, yet bemused. He always seems to be so caught up in thought.

"The master requests to see you." I say like a well trained maid. He glances at me once from the corner of his eye before getting up. It's times like these that I'm glad he's not a talker. The faintest whispers are starting to get to me.

Five hundred and seventy-two steps. Who was the genius that decided to make this place so big? I want to kill them right now.

Standing casually in the foyer was master and some other well dressed man. The latter had his arms folded over his chest with a discontent look on his face, while the former looked completely indifferent. Our approaching footsteps alerted the pair of our presence. The male looked at us, more so at the boy than me. The guy beside me backed away after locking eyes with the mysterious male.

"It's really nice to see you again Sasuke." He said with a false polite, venom laced voice.

His name was Sasuke, the name of some great and legendary ninja. I figured his name to be a bit more feminine, to reflect his appearance. I don't know a lot of guys who have such a gentle jawline and delicate eyelashes. Pretty is a word I'd use to describe him.

Sasuke didn't say anything. He watched the man intently, as if he would suddenly burst into a violent rage directed at him. I take it that the man must be his owner and he isn't at all pleased that his slave attempted to runaway.

The atmosphere was uneasy and borderline awkward. Luckily the man finally decided to open his mouth. "I would like my property back." It was obvious he was trying to hold in all of his anger.

Aforementioned property certainly didn't want to go with the man. He opened his mouth to speak, but was cut off by Orochimaru-sama. "Before I do that, I would like to talk to you." He said to the man.

"Fine."

A satisfied smile swept across his face. He gestured for us to go away, so we did. Sasuke seemed a bit relieved that his departure was delayed. I don't know why, it's not like this place is any better.

**XoXoX**

I finally got to enjoy a moment of solitude. It's rare that I get time to myself.

My bed was sending out rays that made me want to lay down on it. The bed was a lot colder than I would have liked it, but it didn't matter. It's nice to have some relaxation time. I wanted to shut my brain down, cause usually when I'm alone all I do is reflect upon different things. But not today. I'll save all my cognitive content for some other time. For now I'll just savor the serenity of my environment.

It all ended when Hinata came rushing in.

Damn, I was almost at full peace.

"Sakura-chan! We have to hurry! Orochimaru-sama is going to sell Ino!" She said frantically. Because I wasn't really paying attention to her, I only heard _hurry _and _Ino_.

I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of the bed. "Calm down, and tell me what happened." I say with not a lot of interest.

She took a deep breath before speaking. "Well I overheard Orochimaru-sama and some man talking about the slave that escaped. And Orochimaru-sama said that he wanted to keep the boy and will give anything in return. So the man said that he wanted his most prized slave-"

I had to cut her off. "Okay, I get it. But what do you want me to do about it?"

She seemed thoroughly shocked that I asked that. "We have to do something! He's going to sell Ino."

There was a part of me that was sadden by this. But it was a real small part. That's what happens in this business, people get sold all the time. It's nothing new or surprising. So the master wants a new and better looking toy, that's how things work. "There is nothing we can say or do to stop it from happening." I say plainly.

Now she was angry. "How can you say that? We haven't even tried!" She screeched.

I stood up. "Because it's the truth!" I shot back. I've learned not to grow so emotionally attached to people. You never know when they're going to walk out of your life or betray you in the worst way. "Nothing we do is going to change the fact that she'll be leaving. Do yourself a favor and get that through your head!" I shouted at her.

She looked at me with disbelief. "That's your friend, and you have to be willing to any and everything to save her."

It was like I was arguing with a child. Does she not know where she is or who she is to society? No one is going to stick up for us if we rebel against something so minor and unimportant. "Not when I know that the outcome will do nothing good for us. Grow up and face facts." I stated a bit coldly.

When tears ran down her face, I didn't feel any amount of remorse for what I had said. She couldn't think of anything to say, so she just turned around and walked out. I collapsed onto my bed and tried to forget everything that just happened.

I have no intentions on apologizing to her.

**XoXoX**

It's been a few days and I haven't seen or heard Hinata. I doubt I was really that harsh to her in our argument to warrant her to avoid me for so long. I could've said a lot more than I did, but I didn't. I wasn't aiming to really hurt her. After all she is my friend.

I kind of want to look for her and see where our relationship currently stands. I removed myself from my room and walked down the hall. She's probably patching up some girl or helping Kabuto dispose of bodies.

My search was cut short when Kabuto came around the corner and dragged me to the master's office. He didn't say a word, he just kept walking while I tried to keep up with him. He shoved me inside and closed the door behind us.

"It's about time you got here." The man muttered. "I suppose you wouldn't know about the little uprising that happened a few days ago." It wasn't a question, but I had to answer it anyway.

There was an uprising? Where the hell was I when that happened? I knew I was a little out of it, but I didn't know it was that bad that I would miss something like this. I was surprised that they would do something as stupid as that. "I didn't think they would actually go through with it." I answered. "Are...they okay?" I knew that they all were punished gravelly for their misbehavior. I'm not shocked that their plan failed.

I tried to warn Hinata, but she wouldn't listen.

He rolled his eyes at my question. "They should be fine. Most of them anyway."

I glance over at Sasuke, who sat on the couch with his hands folded in his lap. He wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings. Which is a fatal mistake, since Orochimaru-sama was walking towards him. I wanted to say something to get the boy's attention, but it was too late.

If master did in fact own him, then he would have to get branded, which isn't a pleasant process. He strokes the boy's face which causes his wide eyes that held a sort of child's innocence to them to stare up into the man's sinister gaze.

My stomach was in knots right now. I don't if I should keep silent or say something. "I have gotten the grand opportunity to free you from your former master." He paused to let those words sink in. The look on Sasuke's face did not change, I think he might have known that the sentence sounded way too good to be true. And it was. "You are now _mine_." The pleasantness in his voice changed and was replaced with a ominous tone.

Sasuke's eyes glazed over in fear. He tried to move away, but was trapped between the couch and the man before him. Master lowered his face to the boy's neck, making the latter bite his lip to keep sounds from escaping.

However, that didn't do anything to stop the pain filled scream that erupted from his mouth when Orochimaru-sama harshly bit down on his neck. The man stepped back, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth and observed his handiwork.

I stood in horror, watching the boy's body tense before going completely lax.

At least he didn't suffer for too long.


	5. Pain is Endless

**Chapter 5**

**Pain is Endless**

**XoXoX**

I have been told to monitor Sasuke's condition. I believe that Kabuto would be better suited for this job. Sasuke has been in a coma ever since master had bit him. I vaguely know how to handle this situation, therefore I feel that someone more experienced should deal with the boy. I'm expected to make him better, yet I don't know what to do.

This is going to be great.

At first I wasn't too worried about him. He was just being branded, it couldn't be that bad. That is until I remembered that not a lot of people who were branded the way he was, lived. Come to think of it, I rarely see people being branded like that. The reason lies behind the mortality rates. There were at least a few hundred people bitten, only four are still alive today. There was a fifth one, but I'm not sure what happened to him.

His chances of living are really slim. I'm not even sure what causes this sort of reaction. I want to take time out to figure out what is wrong, but by that time he could already be dead. This is really odd for someone to be in a coma after being bitten.

I placed the back of my hand to his forehead and immediately pull away as if I had been burnt. His fever had increased since the last time I checked. At this point, I know that cold rags wouldn't do anything to bring his temperature down. I turned on the fan to the highest setting and grabbed a lighter blanket to place over him. I doubt that would do anything outside of making him feel a bit more comfortable.

He's breathing somewhat steadily, which is a good thing. His pulse was arbitrary, but at least he still had one. I'll probably get a heart monitor later on if he doesn't wake up within the next hour or so.

For now it just appears that he's dealing with a high fever, so I inject him with eight kilograms of quinine base. Even his arm was extremely hot to the touch. If this doesn't work, then I'm out of options.

I wonder how he feels. Does he know that his body is way past the normal body temperature? Does he feel any sort of pain? He can't respond to any type of stimuli. Part of me wants to shake him until he finally awakes, but that wouldn't do much. His condition is one of those wait and see types. For some reason it makes me really antsy. I really want the best outcome for him and yet I know death is right around the corner.

My medical experience is slowly being thrown out a window and replaced with frantic remedies that have been disproved long ago. I shake my head, I really need to get it together. He's not going to get better if I can't focus.

His life is in my hands.

With any other person, the thought wouldn't bother me. But now there seems to be a lot more pressure on me to ensure he survives. That bad part about it is that I'm not well equip to handle this situation. Here, either someone is dead or alive. If you aren't conscious within an hour, then you're pronounced dead. You officially become a lost cause and your body will be burned by the searing flames of the incinerator.

It's a fate that I have seen many times.

Maybe he'll hang on for just a while longer.

**XoXoX**

A few more days have past since I have seen Hinata or anyone of the girls that were part of the uprising. Part of me was worried about her well being. After all she is my friend, even if we weren't going to be on speaking terms. It's not like I didn't want to save Ino, I just knew that there was nothing we could do. The task of trying without having a good outcome is so senseless and a waste of time.

I couldn't get that through her head.

When I did see her in our room, I wondered if I should spare her the _I told you so _lecture, or let her know how stupid she was being. That would probably be adding salt to the wound. She did deserve to hear it though. I didn't want to be the first one to say anything because it would seem like I was purposely trying to pick a fight with her.

She beat me to it.

"It felt great, fighting for someone you care for. Even if we were punished, it didn't matter. At least we tried." She said with her back to me. In a way it seemed as if she didn't want to acknowledge my presence. It was clear that she was very angry with me. Her voice was strong with determination and held a slight accusing undertone to it. She turned around and gave me a quick glare, as if it were meant to make me feel sorry.

It was to be expected. I knew she would be a bit disappointed that I didn't join her and the rest of the girls. "I take it that you were able to make her stay." It was snide. It was sarcastic. It was meant to make her realize her failure.

Her body turned around completely to face me. Her eyes were narrow and the discontent frown on her lips conveyed that I had struck a raw nerve. She let out a bitter laugh. "Of course you would only focus on that aspect."

I folded my arms over my chest. "Well that's what you were fighting for, right? It makes a lot of sense for your effort not to have gone to waste." I replied.

"I care enough to put my life at risk, for the sake of anyone I love." She said angrily, taking a few steps toward me. Her body was shaking with undeniable resentment. I can see that she wants to hit me, but for reasons I don't know, she didn't.

I'm not fazed by her anger. "I guess that would make you a fool." She looked bewildered, not expecting me to say that. "You knew that the outcome wouldn't be in your favor, yet you still decided to go through with it anyway. And for what? Ino isn't here. All that work you did for nothing. The pain you endured because of it, was in vain. Now that makes you a failure and an idiot."

A single tear fell from her eye. "Fine." She whispered and brushed past me. She paused for a moment before speaking again. "I'm still happy I tried." She walked out of the room, leaving me to think about what she had just said.

She's happy she failed. That makes no sense. What a completely idiotic thing to say. Maybe she's not paying any mind to the fact that she hadn't accomplished what she wanted. But, it's a blatantly obvious thing to try to ignore. We lost a friend. We will all notice the lack of her presence.

There is no getting around that.

**XoXoX**

My master couldn't have picked a far worst time to come check in on Sasuke's welfare.

I was almost confident that he would be better by now, but his health took an unexpected turn for the worse. His body not only rejected the medicine I gave him, but it was reacting harshly to having it in his system. Maybe I overshot the dosage, I don't know for sure but hasn't gotten even remotely better. His temperature surged to an unhealthy degree, I'm not sure how he is even alive right now. His brain should be scrambled, I'm glad it isn't though.

His fingers were being deprived of blood since they have been balled into a fist. It would be hard to explain to him that we had to amputate his fingers if he ever chooses to wake up. So I had to use a whole roll duck tape to keep them unclenched.

He's now breathing shallowly which is a step away from not breathing at all. His heart was thumping against his chest rapidly. I want to give him some sort of sedative, but that would make his respiratory system shut down.

My mind is drawing blanks right now, I can't think of anything to save his life. I could have said something before he was bitten, then he wouldn't be having this problem. And I wouldn't be feeling responsible for his death.

It wasn't my fault, I was a bystander.

An _able_ bystander.

"How is he?" The man's voice was gentle as he looked on at the boy.

"He's in horrible condition. He could be dead in two minutes." I looked up at him to see that the news really upset him. He appeared genuinely hurt about the boy's welfare, and he should since he caused it. I don't know how to comfort people in these types of situations, or any other type of situation. The only way I know how to do that is by lying, but I don't want to do that. I bite my lip before speaking. "I'll try."

His gaze rests upon me, searching for something deep within me. He closes his eyes and nods, before taking his leave.

"He still might not live." I say as a disclaimer. I didn't want his hopes to get too high up. Usually people mistake the word _try _as meaning that the outcome will be in their favor and that it is absolute. I didn't want him to walk away thinking that Sasuke will live, because the probability of him not doing so is high. Then the man would be pissed at me for giving him false hope.

When the door closed, I cracked my knuckles.

I got a long night ahead of me.

**XoXoX**

One night turned into three nonstop days of work. I questioned Kabuto a bit, read a few unhelpful books, skimmed through files, and tried channeling previous knowledge. I didn't get much out of doing any of that.

Then in my temporary fit of delirium, I started thinking about symbolism. At first it seemed pointless, but an interesting thought came to mind which made it all worth it. At times, people wonder if the master is some weird breed of human and snake. I never really thought much of it until I noticed that the bite marks on Sasuke's neck resembled snakebites.

From there I matched Sasuke's symptoms to those of people who suffer from a snakebite. It wasn't as easy as go find antivenom and inject him with it then everything will be fine, but it did shed some light on this condition.

Antivenom would only relieve the symptoms, but combining that with something that increases the body's immune system proved to work out just fine.

He sat up on the bed, staring at the floor. I entered the room with a pill and a glass of water. I held the pill out for him to take it, but he just looked at me like I was crazy. "It will make you feel better."

He shook his head. "I'm not taking that." I was surprised to hear him speak.

I sighed and set the glass down on the nightstand. "Look, you can take this pill voluntarily or I will shove down your throat."

His eyebrow raised in interest and a smirk adorned his lips. "Is that a challenge?"

Instead of verbally answering, I pushed him backwards and quickly pounced on top of him. Just when I thought I had the upper hand, he flips our positions and now I'm laying underneath him. I try to muster up my most intimidating glare, but he isn't fazed. His indifferent gaze makes me want to focus on other things besides him. I hate how some people can look unaffected by their surroundings, it's weird.

"Looks like I win." He says a bit smugly. The nerve of this guy. I spent three days trying to save his life and this is how he repays me. He removes himself from over me.

I stand up and place the pill on the nightstand next to the water. "Fine, don't take it. But you'll be sorry later." I inform him.

He shrugs in response.

I want to walk out and not worry about the consequences. If he wants to suffer through the pain, then that's his business. However I'll feel a lot of guilt if he suddenly dies without warning all because he didn't take the medicine. I stop and turn around. "Can you please just take it? I'd hate for something bad to happen to you."

"I'll be fine." He states while looking away from me.

"Actually, I wouldn't be too sure of that. You're fine for now, but later you-"

He cuts me off, not interested in hearing what could happen to him. "I'll take it later."

I nod my head. "Okay." I left his room in search of my own. I could use a good nap right now.

**XoXoX**

**Thanks for the reviews thus far!**


	6. Happiness is Ignorance

**Chapter 6**

**Happiness is Ignorance**

**XoXoX**

The sound of laughter is grating my nerves. No one has said anything remotely funny, yet they're all dying of laughing fits.

How can anyone be happy in a place like this?

The answer is simple.

People have selective ignorance. They chose not to look at what's directly in front of them should it be something that is dreary. They get the pleasure of walking around with a huge smile on their face because they don't know.

They don't want to know.

Moreover, they just don't care.

Someone's sadness is another person's happiness. If you ignore the former then you'll feel a lot better, you won't feel obligated to feel any sympathy. Just pretend that sadness doesn't exist. As long as you are okay, nothing else matters.

I can hear one man boastfully talk about all of us as if we are worthless objects. The idiots that surround him laugh and agree, we are nothing. The instant consensus have made that mere statement into a solid fact.

"Actually, I think they're pretty damn expensive toys." One man says. They all consider this before agreeing with him. Some would say you can't put a price tag on a human life, well these folks certainly have found a way.

"I heard he's about to display his China Doll collection." The others stop and set their drinks down, astonished at the news. The master only displays them once a year, because they are 'collectibles'. A collectible is someone who was or still is of royal status. They are hard to find seeing as most leaders of different countries have decided not to have children and if they do, they won't sell them.

But Orochimaru-sama has managed to get his hands on three of them. There were four, but he killed one for being annoying.

I quietly refill their drinks, while they happily discuss the human dolls. They aren't used for sexual services, they are supposed to be admired. The amount of prepping for display is agonizingly slow, all the details have to be handled meticulously. I'd hate to be the one stuck with prepping them this year.

They aren't allowed to eat anything throughout the process. The only thing they are allowed to have is water, so they won't gain a lot of weight. The most sleep they are allowed to get is an hour, afterward they get regular shots of adrenaline straight through the veins.

Their pain goes considerably unnoticed.

So long as they remain beautiful, who cares if they go through hell to get that way?

**XoXoX**

I hate when people ignore good advice. Especially when it could prevent you from dying.

But no, I'm constantly disregarded as someone who apparently doesn't know what they're talking about. The moment I walked into his room, I knew he didn't take his medicine _again_. He laid sprawled out on the floor, the only indicator of life is the rising and falling of his chest.

The idiot should have listened to me the first time I told him to take his medicine.

Two weeks ago he nearly threw up all the contents of his stomach. Instead of actually helping him, I just sat there and berated him for his stubbornness. I didn't like watching him go through that, but he needed to learn his lesson. He didn't seem to learn it quick enough because the week after that, he had a seizure. I don't think he's the brightest crayon in the box.

I check his temperature and its slightly above normal, but not life threatening. He groans faintly. I wish he was awake so I could hear his excuse for not taking it this time.

Despite him blatantly ignoring me, I still feel sorry for him. I can't say for what reason and it puzzles me. I sigh and drop down to my knees beside him. As gently as I can, I lift his head up and place it in my lap.

If we are both lucky, he'll wake up in an hour without many complications. Not having to work feverishly to resuscitate him was making me somewhat sleepy. The atmosphere was peacefully quiet, and him being near me was soothing.

I stroke the hair out of his face gently. My gut starts to feel odd, like it's in knots. It is such a weird feeling that I'm not sure if I should be alarmed by it. It sort of feels distantly familiar. I can't put a name to it though.

Lately I've been on edge from minor stresses that accumulated into a much larger one.

I have allowed my relationship with Hinata to fall to pieces and at this point in time, I think it's best for both of us. I keep thinking about how I never got a chance to say goodbye to Ino. I can live with that. It's not like we were living under great circumstances for me to want her to stay. Besides me saying goodbye to anyone wouldn't be a touching moment. Once I find out someone is leaving my life, then they instantly become dead to me.

I void my mind of all thoughts that lingered in the back of my mind. I stop struggling to keep my eyes open and lean backwards on the side of the bed behind me. The weight shifts from one part of my body to another. I pay no heed to it.

…

The door opens and I hear chuckling. My eyes fluttered open and was greeted with an amused Kabuto. "It seems like you two have warmed up to each other nicely." He said with a smirk on his face.

I looked down to see Sasuke's face nestled in my cleavage, his arms around my waist, and mine hugging his midback. I froze not sure how we ended up in this position and if I should push him away from me. Out of apprehension, I settled for holding him closer. "Is there something that you wanted?" I asked, my voice devoid of interest. He shakes his head. "Nothing, nothing at all." He leaves, chuckling uncontrollably.

Sasuke stirs a bit before waking up completely. My eyes met his for a brief moment before turning away. He removes himself away from me. I suddenly feel a lot colder, almost as if a part of me is missing. I shake my head to remove the thought, it was senseless.

I pulled myself up and motioned for him to sit down. "You could have died."

"I'm lucky I didn't."

"You're lucky that there's medication to help you stay alive, and if you have the tiniest amount of sense than you'll take it." The whole time I was speaking, I was staring at the floor and not at him. I just can't ever bring myself to look at his expressionless face, if I do than my words would lose it's hard effectiveness.

"Sure, whatever you say." He says passively.

I roll my eyes and walk away.

Some people just won't learn.

**XoXoX**

The atmosphere around me was joyful. It's rare that we all get a chance to get together and celebrate someone's birthday. It's rare that we get together at all, our business is practically nonstop. I'm sort of grateful for the break, though it won't last long.

We're celebrating the new girl's birthday. Her name is Ami and she just turned thirteen. She's only been here for two days and doesn't know what she's in for. When I look at her, I see her smiling so brightly. She is completely happy. She laughs and radiates this warmth that only someone who is ignorant can give off. She looked innocent, the men would eat her up in an instant when they see her.

Everyone else seemed just as happy as she was. It was nice to step away from their horrid lives to celebrate another that's about to face the same fate as them. But they don't care about that. They don't want to focus on that aspect right now. The banner that's hung on the wall says _happy birthday_, so I guess that means everyone has to be happy.

It's funny how things work out like that.

She should really savor this moment, because it'll all come crashing down in an instant later. I still can't believe she hasn't been exposed to the environment yet. It makes me wonder where she sleeps. You can't go far in this place without seeing some poor girl get attacked by a horny pack of men. Most girls started working the second they entered this place. I wonder why she's so special.

In a way she's at a disadvantage. It's a lot harder to deal with reality when you were used to the calm before the storm. If you're just thrown in it, then you find some way to deal with it for the moment.

All the girls gather around her and start singing happy birthday. Ami smiles even brighter now. I'm guessing no one ever gave two shits about her birthday until she got here. It won't be long before even she doesn't care about her own birthday. After their singing, they all started cheering.

"Congrats on being another year older!" Hinata says joyfully.

Good for her. But with age comes knowledge, and I don't think it's fair that they are withholding vital information from her. She deserves to know her fate, even if it makes her sad. I stand up from my seat and walk over to her. Some of the girls are surprised to even see me here. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for the fact that Ami is new and hasn't been exposed to the nature of her new work place.

"Hello!" She greets me. Her voice is pleasant and eyes show that she doesn't have a care in the world.

That will change soon.

"I would like to wish you a happy birthday." I say in the most genuine tone of voice I have. Before she could thank me, I continue with my sentence. "But, you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life."

She didn't seem to really get it, though her smile did vanish fairly quickly. So I had to explain it to her. "From now on until you die, you'll be a slave forced to pleasure many different men. They'll break you, and won't even apologize for it. You officially have no worth to the outside world as a human. You are an object that will do what you are told, when you are told to do it without any questions." I noticed the tone of my voice change. It sounded cold and I didn't mean for it to come out that way.

But it got the point across so I guess it's okay.

Her brown eyes were filled with tears. Perhaps the future for her was too harsh. But I couldn't just allow her to be ignorant, like everyone else. It just isn't right and goes against my morals. She ran past me, sobbing immensely. The other girls run after her.

"Why did you say that?" Hinata asked me furiously.

I closed my eyes and then sighed. "I was only preparing her for what's to come."

Knowledge is the best gift anyone could give or receive.

**XoXoX**

Apparently it was my turn along with Hinata to prep the China Dolls this year. I didn't want to do it. These people are being made up and treated like they are the most important thing in the world. They certainly are not otherwise they wouldn't be here.

They have the nerve to think they're better than us.

I think they're a step away from being high class whores.

Kin, an exiled princess from Kirigakure, is the most bratty of the trio. I have the greatest luck to be stuck with her. She doesn't like me for some reason and never fails to let it show.

Thankfully I don't get to see her that often.

"Go get me a glass of water with three ice cubes." She barks. I set the brush I was going to apply her foundation with and did as I was told.

She grins, loving the power she has over me. Without her knowing, I spit in her water.

Juvenile, yes.

But it made me feel better.

I continue to prepare the make-up while ignoring her insignificant chatter. "Hey freak, are you listening to me?" She pulls one of my locks to gain my attention.

I slam the brush down and glare at her. "My job is to make you look like less of a whore. Not, to hear you run your fucking mouth about absolutely nothing." I spat angrily.

She gasped and stood up. "I will not be talked to that way!"

We both stood still, glaring at each other. Hinata coughs to breaks up the silent, motionless fight. Kin leaves in a huff along with Kotohime. I can hear the former growling in frustration and saying obscene things from here. Sakon stays because he didn't want to hear Kin complain at the moment. Hinata and I begin working on him since he's the only one here. He's surprisingly quiet throughout the process.

The door opens and closes, assuming it to be the girls. Hinata turns around and gasps. "Sasuke-chan!" She runs over to him and gives him a hug. "How are you?" She asks.

"Better." He responds casually. He has grown close with a few of the girls since he's been here. They all welcomed him with open arms, despite being Ino's replacement. "What's wrong with Kin?" He asks.

"She hasn't been getting the loyal treatment she feels she deserves." I roll my eyes and keep working, while they have their conversation. "Ami is doing a lot better." She began combing Sakon's hair carefully. I can tell she was talking directly to me.

"That's good to know." I say with not a lot of interest.

"It took a while to console her. She was really hurt."

"I was just stating facts. If she can't handle it, she should probably look into killing herself."

The room went dead silent. Everyone was stunned by what I said.

"Unbelievable." She muttered before walking out.

Sakon left as well, while laughing hysterically.

"Wow." Sasuke said astonished. "You know I was waiting for someone to finally tell you what has needed to be said for the longest time. Since no one has done it, I guess I have to be the one to tell you."

I turn around and faced him. I was interested in what he had to say.

"You are the saddest excuse for a person. You're just cynical and want everyone else to feel like you. You walk around here thinking that you are so much better than everyone else because you gave up on life. You think you have everything figured out, but you don't. You look down on others and have the nerve to call them stupid for having hope and being happy. If you want to continue being the misfortunate soul that you are, then by all means go ahead. The rest of us are going to look towards the brighter side. And if that makes us naive, then so be it. Because I'd rather be ignorant, than miserable like you."

He left on that note.

I don't what to think at this moment.

All the girls were thinking the same thing that he said. What do they know? They couldn't be right.

They aren't right.

Maybe...

**XoXoX**

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If I don't update before the month is over, happy holidays and see you next year!**


	7. Ignorance is Bliss

**Because I got kind of a lot of reviews for the last chapter (definitely thankful for them), I decided to push myself to make another one before the year is over.**

**my-threesome, I meant to address this last chapter, but I forgot. I can't say how they'll get together without giving away the entire story. I will say that I didn't want it to be a love at first sight kind of thing. The way I wrote Sakura, wouldn't really fit that.**

**Sasuke is Hot 0012, your comment made me laugh.**

**Nina Morenos, you gave me the most interesting thought ever for a future chapter. Thank you so much.**

**YuukoAzmasaki, I wish I was more blunt and had a lot of knowledge like Sakura as well.**

**Thanks to all other reviewers, you guys rock!**

**Enjoy.**

**Chapter 7**

**Ignorance is Bliss**_._

**XoXoX**

_Two years later..._

I'm supposed to be going through a bunch of medical files to single out which people still need to have their flu shots. So far I haven't found a single thing because of how unorganized the files are. I could've spent hours trying to organize them, but that wasn't my task.

So I just simply chose not to do it.

I plopped myself down amidst the files askew everywhere and stared at the space ahead of me.

It's not like anyone really cares anyway. If someone drops dead out of the blue, that's just one more person we got to replace. If half of the people in the compound get infected, then we'll just quarantine them. That isn't very likely to happen since no one here is young or old enough to die from the flu or anything of the sort. I'm also fairly sure that Kabuto would have screened those types of people out a while ago so they wouldn't be a problem.

If anything I could always just give them a quick check-up and determine then if they could benefit from a vaccination. We should have enough for everyone that matters; the master, his two loyal servants, and his new prize possession.

Speaking of which, I still keep thinking about Sasuke's words. As much as I want to shove his words to the back of my head, I can't. They are buried deep within my mind and they refuse to leave until I acknowledge them.

I still can't see his point of view on what he said. Why would someone want to be ignorant? That basically means that you're giving people permission to treat you like an idiot. They'll mock and take advantage of you.

But you truly wouldn't know it.

And no one else will make the effort to tell you either, so long as it doesn't concern them. When multiple people are involved, then the stupidity of others becomes a major problem. The society that we live in has a low tolerance for idiots, despite the fact the world is filled with them. We recognize them and make it a habit to ridicule them, but otherwise don't do anything beneficial to make them more knowledgeable.

It's one of those unwritten rules that you can treat people with lesser knowledge like dirt, because they honestly wouldn't be able to tell the difference between that and good treatment, so we think.

Even if they do, it wouldn't matter.

In a sense, it's almost like naïve people aren't human. We often act as if we can't communicate to them that they are missing out on the important details in life. We can, it's rather easy. It's the fact that we don't want to because we need that system of superiority. Society will simply fall apart if we didn't have that one class of rich and smart people. People need leaders because we need control and order.

Ideally being equal isn't a bad thing.

It's just that if we want progress than someone is going to have to be slightly better than the rest. Be it with money, knowledge, or the ability to take charge of an entire nation, it doesn't matter.

We don't prosper through ignorance, or at least we shouldn't.

Still the fact that he willingly chose to be ignorant, bothers me greatly. That's not the kind of life anyone should ever want to live. In the short term, it might seem great. We are always told not to think about instant gratification and to think about the long term rewards. Very few people in this world are willing to do that.

So how would one know that they are missing out?

You wouldn't, unless somebody tells you.

If that doesn't happen, then you're just happy.

In that case, it's only really ignorance from someone else's perspective. That person gets to decide whether your knowledge is adequate enough to see you as an equal. But you could care less because you're too busy being joyful. Which basically means that classes are useless because one person doesn't know what they are. In order for them to work, _everyone _has to understand where their place is.

That's interesting.

In the time I have spent thinking about the subject, I have figured out two things:

You don't know what you don't know, so you're happy.

Everyone else knows that you don't know, so you're ignorant.

That all makes perfect sense. The thing that has me stumped is when you _chose_ not to know. What would that make you? Just a regular person or an idiot? Someone who doesn't want to face reality or someone who feels like they know enough already to get by?

I'm obviously missing some sort of component to this that makes ignorance seem ideal. I really can't rest until I find out what it is. I sighed, knowing if I put even the tiniest amount of thought to the subject I wouldn't be able to leave it alone.

There has to be a way to settle this once and for all. It's starting to get in the way of my work. I was supposed to be cleaning up the rooms down the first and second halls, and afterward I was supposed to fill in for a waitress.

Here comes an angry Kabuto to reinforce my lack of work. "Where the hell have you been?"

I blink a few times and motion around the room.

"You have other things that you should have been doing."

I shrugged. "I didn't do them because my first task couldn't have been done due to _someone's_ lack of organization."

He glares at me, knowing that I was implying that this mess was all his fault and it is. One of his many responsibilities are to make sure that all the files in this place are organized. The fact that the place is a mess is a failure on his part. He's speechless because he knows this is his fault.

"I only speak the truth." I say plainly.

He walks away muttering a bunch of curses. That went a lot better than expected. Of course my work load for tomorrow will be a lot more than usual as punishment.

I can't win in life.

**XoXoX**

Kabuto couldn't have taken the high road and just let me do my normal amount of work. Nope, he's still bitter. It's a good thing I predicted this would happen and prepared for a long day or else this would suck.

What I didn't think he would do is spend the entire day shadowing me, making sure I actually did my work. I can tell that these rooms have been purposely trashed, just so it would take me forever to clean them. I half-assed most of them and Kabuto never failed to mention it. I ignored him and kept doing what I was doing.

I started cleaning the walls, very poorly. "I think you can do a better job than that." He remarks, folding his arms over his chest.

I merely looked back at him and then returned to my work, not improving the quality at all. He sighs, obviously frustrated with my lack of diligence. I moved to cleaning up the carpet, after being satisfied with how clean the walls were.

"You missed a spot." He says while pointing to aforementioned spot.

"It looks fine to me." It really did actually. That's as clean as that spot is ever going to get. It's a stain that has been there for years and because I'm not a good cleaner, I haven't found a way to get rid of it. So it'll look fine to me.

"All you need to do is saturated it in a non-bleach cleaner, take a rag, and dab away the stain."

You can tell me to do something or you can tell me how you want it done. You can't do both, it doesn't work that way. Either do it yourself or be grateful that I did it. I am, however grateful for the advice. I will definitely use it in the future. I think we should probably remove the carpet and replace it hardwood floor, that's a lot easier to clean. Though I'm pretty sure when some poor girl is being violated lands on it, it would hurt a lot.

"You know instead of wasting time meticulously critiquing my work, you could be doing something a bit more productive." I know for a fact that he has tons of other chores that he should be working on. Namely managing the files he still has neglected to do.

He chuckles. "I honestly can't wait for the day you collapse. I will enjoy picking you apart, bit by bit." He says in a grave tone. It didn't faze me because I already know he wants me dead, it's nothing new.

"Kabuto, the day that Orochimaru-sama will deem you useless to him, will be the greatest day of my life." The second greatest day of my life would be freedom, but I know that it's not going to happen any time soon. But Kabuto's usefulness is slowly dwindling ever since Sasuke came here.

He lunges towards me and pins me against the wall. His hand that was around my neck was lax, almost as if he wasn't really trying to hurt me. The look in his eyes were filled with rage. I continue to stare at him plainly. If he really wanted to kill me, he would've done it already. I am not afraid of Kabuto in the least bit. Sure he's sadistic and shows no remorse for human life, but over time I started to see him for what he really is.

If I was someone else, his grip would have been a lot tighter. I have established that I was no longer scared of him last year. Ever since then, he's been really easy to get to. His achilles' heel is always exposed. I don't always use it against him, but the few times I have really speaks volumes about who he really is as a person, if I could really call him that.

He begins to tremble ever so slightly. He's really mad, but won't do anything about it besides stare me down. I take a miniscule step and he tensed. "Either tighten your grip or get away from me." I demanded firmly.

He did the latter and walked away. I just realized that I dealt with him similarly to how I dealt with Rinji. He returned from his vacation two months ago and I was a bit disappointed because I thought he was dead.

I've been getting better at avoiding him. So far we have only had one run in and he's cautiously kept his distance, yet he was still determined to make me his. I'm not sure how clear I can make it to him that I have no desire to be in a relationship with him. A knee to the balls should have been a strong indicator of that.

I'm feeling rather lethargic right now, so I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

**XoXoX**

It's been a while since I have interacted with anyone that I actually enjoy being around. I dully acknowledge that my actions have slightly pushed them away and the fact that I haven't made any attempt to speak with them. The desire to rebuild the relationships with them isn't there. I don't want to force it because then it would show that I don't want to be around them. I'd be doing it out of obligation.

You shouldn't force friendship, it either happens or it doesn't. If it does fall apart, fix it immediately if you treasure it. I'm not saying Hinata or any of the girls mean nothing to me, it's just I have grown used to solitude even when they were right there beside me.

I thought it was a passing phase that I would grow out of and be a stronger person because of it. I don't want to admit it, but I was wrong. It's sticking with me, and it only intensifies. At some point in time, it became less about my words pushing them away it's more like an aura I give off. The girls have dealt with a lot of the things that I have said, it just went in one ear and out the other.

The vibe I give off says that I don't want to be near anyone who refuses to accept that the situation we live in is hopeless. It was never like that before, it's something that just developed recently. I would have never known that had Sasuke never mentioned it.

I want to laugh because of how ironic it is.

I didn't know something that everyone else knew.

I don't laugh, I can't, no matter how humorous the revelation is. I just couldn't.

I stand outside of Sasuke's door, tucking in my pride in the deepest part of my soul. I knock on the door and wait for him to answer. It took about three seconds, but it felt a lot longer. He seemed a little surprised to see me. I myself am surprised that I am here. This is a problem that I should be able to work out on my own. I know I can do it too, I just need someone else to listen to me.

Lately I have felt like I haven't been making much sense, like I don't know what I am talking about and it bothers me so much. I hate not knowing what my thoughts are about. I can think them, but when I try to analyze them they are like a foreign concept.

What compels me to talk to Sasuke? I don't know. He seems like someone I can trust at the moment.

"Can we talk?" I ask quietly.

He motions for me to come in. "What did you want to talk about?"

"What you said to me two years ago."

He nods. "Right. Look, I'm sorry that I said all that. It's just-"

I shake my head. "No, no. You're fine." I reassure him. "You were being honest, so it doesn't matter." He looked genuinely confused. I sat down on the edge of his bed. "The truth, it's supposed to hurt." I explained.

"You're just going to accept all that stuff I said?"

I shrugged. "I don't agree with it, but it's not like I can change your mind."

He chuckles. "It's not set in stone Sakura. It doesn't have to be true."

"There's no point in fighting the inevitable."

"How would you know if you never tried?" He asks while kneeling down in front of me.

"I-" I couldn't finish my sentence. To me it's just one of those unwritten laws of life. You try to fight the unstoppable and you lose, it's common sense. I shake my head, wanting to focus on the main thing I wanted to talk about. "You said that you'd rather be happy at the price of ignorance, why?"

"Look at you, all the knowledge you have and where has it gotten you? It is only beneficial when put to good use. You let it fester into resentment, which isn't a practical use at all." He pauses. "There is no doubt, that you know a lot stuff. But, it's channeled in a way that doesn't promote progress. It makes life seem pointless and not worth living."

What he said makes sense, so why is it that I can't grasp an understanding of it?

"You still don't get it, do you?" He asked.

I partially shake my head.

After I explained everything I figured out on my own to him, he started to laugh. "You're over thinking it. Sometimes knowledge can be a burden and there are times where things you don't know are things you were never meant to know. For safety reasons."

"You wouldn't tell someone something because their life would be at risk?"

"Questions are a danger to you and a burden to others, it's like that sort of thing." Everything he is saying is logical but it still refuses to make sense in my mind. He grabs my hands, interrupting me from my thoughts. "The fact that you are trying to see where I'm coming from, is amazing. It's almost a sign of slow progress."

"I just don't like not understanding things."

"It's shows." He gets up and walks over to the window. "I suppose the true way to enjoy life is a perfect balance of happiness and knowledge." He lights a cigarette and before bringing it to his lips he states, "In order for that to be, one must be able to acknowledge what they don't know and see past their own perspective of things."

I get up and snatch the cancer stick out of his hands before he could take a drag. He narrows his eyes at me after I throw it out the window. "Makes sense." I comment.

He nods. "Good. So it's not impossible for it to happen." It was more of a statement than a question.

"I suppose."

"Which means you'd be willing to try?"

I let out a deep breath before speaking. "Only because I want to know what the appeal is. I highly doubt that your way of viewing life is better than mine."

"We'll see." He said with a smirk.

**XoXoX**

**That's all for now. I doubt that I will update next week because I'll be busy playing my new video games, so don't get any high hopes. **

**Happy Holidays!**


	8. Dreams are Pointless

**I'm really sorry for taking forever to update.**

**Chapter 8**

**Dreams are Pointless**

**XoXoX**

One of my least favorite ways of waking up is having one of the master's pets slither up my leg. Somehow they managed to escape from their cage _again_. Whoever is in charge of watching them should be fired. Luckily, it is only the smaller ones that constantly escape. For the most part they are harmless. They just want to be near a heat source to help them sleep better. I ignore the odd feeling to the best of my ability.

It's a little after midnight and I'm exhausted from digging graves. I'm not sure why I even had to do it. I've never seen anyone buried here before. All our corpses are raided for vital organs and such and then burned.

Still, I never knew that digging a hole could take so much physical strength. My arms are throbbing in pain, my back aches from being hunched over, and my lungs feel like I have been running a nonstop marathon.

Even though I feel tired enough to pass out, sleep didn't come as quickly as I thought it would. I lay motionless in bed, patiently waiting to doze off. Staring at the ceiling, counting backwards, or simply closing my eyes does nothing to bring awaited slumber.

Minutes turned to hours, and I still haven't managed to fall asleep.

By now I'm deeply considering sleeping pills, but that would involve getting up and going all the way to the medicine closet. The last thing me or my muscles want to do at the moment is to move unnecessarily.

Just when I found myself almost at the point of slumber, a sharp pain shot up from my leg. I gasped quietly and threw the covers off me. I found the little pest's fangs lodged inside my calf. His eyes were staring right at me, almost in a taunting manner.

I tried to remove the creature off me, but due to the ingenious design of it's fangs, the task was impossible. It's hold was strong and unwavering. I look down at it with indifference. It didn't hurt rather it was annoying.

My leg tensed a little when I tried to move, which must have frighten the creature to some degree. The thing's fangs punctured the muscle in my leg. If I thought its grip was strong then, it was way more powerful now.

There were two trails of warm red liquid dripping down my leg. It pooled onto my sheets, staining them.

I never really hated snakes. If you leave them alone, they'll leave you alone. However this one is getting on my last nerve. His tongue would more than occasionally lick the blood seeping from the wound. The persistence of the creature is really aggravating.

Rarely have I ever made a good decision when I'm extremely tired.

I firmly grasp the pest by the head. I exhaled to calm my nerves before turning my heading to stare at the wall behind me. I focused on the stillness of the room, thinking that because my surroundings are quiet, then I will be quiet.

The theory was halfway right.

Only a sharp gasp and a shuddering sigh escaped my lips after tearing the reptile off, then throwing it at the foot of my bed. I look over to see that Hinata hasn't even stirred a bit.

That was not the best choice I have made in my life. The blood spilled a lot quicker and the inside of my leg was exposed. I clasp one of my trembling hands over the open wound, to temporarily sustain the bleeding. I use my other hand to tear a large piece of cloth from my cover and wrap it around my leg. It instantly becomes saturated with blood, so I used another piece, tying it tighter than the last.

I really should make sure that no serious damage has occurred. After managing to successfully wiggle my toes, I deemed that there was no nerve damage and therefore I don't have to worry too much about it.

I glare at the cause of my pain. It isn't moving anymore. Even when I nudged it with my foot, it still did nothing. It was partially coiled and stiff. I repeated the motion a few times and received the same reaction.

A few quiet moments later revealed that the creature was dead.

It bit me, and now it's dead.

My blood must have been like poison to the thing. There is only so much one can handle when around me. My presence around others was toxic. They would be happy one minute until I arrive, then they would suffocate on the deadly aura I gave off. A part of them dies whenever I'm around them. They never fail to let it show either. Their aura dims at the sight of me, and in a twisted way, it makes me feel alive.

I'm a danger to all living organisms.

It's funny how things work out like that.

I don't feel sorry for the snake. It deserved to die for making it even more impossible for me to sleep. In a way, I guess it doesn't matter. I really just need to rest, it doesn't matter if I don't sleep well.

It's not like I dream anyways. All my hopes and aspirations have been buried a long time ago.

As always, I just close my eyes and lay still for a few hours.

**XoXoX**

I never thought I would voluntarily find myself outside again. After yesterday, I kind of didn't want anything to do with being outside.

It's ethereally calm out here. Nothing seems to be real, or at least to my perception of realism. Perhaps I'm not quite used to so many lively things existing in one area. Being in the compound is as lively as walking through a graveyard.

I never noticed how bright the sun could shine over a place like this. There is a part of me that is glad that I don't see it all the time. It only serves as a cruel reminder that life is horrible, yet there is a miniscule chance that it could get better.

Various types of flowers were sprinkled across the grass. They were of different colors and in different stages of bloom. It was a sight that I rarely have a chance see. There was an almost cheerful vibe that exuded from the flowers. It was surprisingly nice facade compared to the hellhole that lies just beyond the doors. I wanted to pick one, but didn't because I feel like my touch would cause the entire garden to die.

I was raised differently from the colorful plants. They had everything they could ever need to grow and prosper. I could almost say the same thing for myself but, I am human. Humans need love in order to function properly or else they'll grow up into sociopathic people. I wonder if that's how I'll be in a few years, granted that I'm _fortunate _enough to live that long. It doesn't matter to me, as long as I still have an idea of how the world works.

I've grown used to the fact that I don't see what others see. Where they can see hope in sunshine, I see light that shines on rotting corpses and battered souls. They see solace in each other, while I only see it in myself.

Would it be nice to be able to open up to others? Perhaps. There are times where I feel like going to someone for an internal problem that bugs me, but I don't out of stubbornness.

Or maybe arrogance.

But would they understand where I'm coming from? I doubt it. Sometimes I don't even understand me, as odd as that sounds. I'll never admit that out loud to anyone, except Sasuke. For some reason he can see through me. It bothers me greatly because I can't figure him out. He could tell me everything I could ever want to know about him, but I still won't comprehend a single thing about him.

The reason may lie behind my inability to see past my own perspective.

I inhale the scent of flora and smoke. A sigh that sounds more like a growl erupted from my throat. I follow the smell to the back area where I found Orochimaru's precious pet sucking on a cancer stick. The master has made it very clear to Sasuke that he wanted him to end his smoking habit. The man didn't want Sasuke to be in poor health and was going to hold me responsible if he doesn't quit before it's too late.

That's completely fair.

"Do you want to die early?"

"My grandpa made it to a hundred and twenty."

I raised an eyebrow in curiosity. "By smoking?"

"By minding his own business."

I roll my eyes. "Funny." I remarked sarcastically. He puts it out before I have a chance to snatch it out of his mouth. "You know you're supposed to quit."

"Some things are easier said than done, you of all people should know that." He says while glancing at me from the corner of his eye.

Now he's telling me what I should know, he must have me really figured out. "Yeah, like how you think you can convince me that your perspective of life is better than mine."

He laughs a bit dryly. "Of course persuading someone like you is going to be a challenge. Your stubbornness blocks out all forms of reasoning that you didn't conclude. But it'll be worth it when I prove you wrong." A smirk follows his words.

"If you say so."

"I know so." He's confident, I'll give him that but I doubt it will do anything to change how I see the world. I nearly jump out of my skin when I felt his hand grab mine. "Relax, I'm not going to hurt you." He reassures.

I nod dumbly in response. I haven't had any physical contact with anyone in a while. The slightest touch from someone else is enough to set off this feeling that resembles fear and anxiety. I am only familiar with my own cold touch. His hand was a lot warmer than mine.

It felt weird.

Nevertheless, I allowed him to take me wherever it was we were going. I didn't ask him a single question, just merely observed our surroundings. We were headed back inside the hellhole, away from the beautiful scenery. Before I knew it we were in his room. He hands me a newspaper, which I briefly skim before looking back up at him. "So the leader of Ame has been overthrown, what does that have to do with anything?"

He rolls his eyes and scoffs. "Not that genius, the article underneath it." In small bold letters read: two local business moguls are diagnosed with AIDS. "You know what that means, right?" He asks with a hint of happiness.

"If they trace it back here, we'll be in serious trouble." I'm pretty sure that we will either be put in jail or thrown out on the streets, awaiting a gentle fate that will never come. The way he was looking at me suggests that I didn't say what he wanted to hear.

"There's that and this is the perfect opportunity to make this place better."

I tried to connect the dots of his logic, but I found it to be impossible. "So two guys get AIDS, and you think this is a chance for renovation?"

He nods. "Of course. Because every brothel in this city is going to be panicking about this. If the disease does get traced back to any of them, it's over for them. In order to keep this from getting any worse, something has got to give."

"Like?"

"Having casual, unprotected sex with random strangers."

My eyes widen. "Sasuke, that's what a brothel is. There's no way that they are going to nix that. It's how they make their money."

"They can't make money if people are too afraid of catching something to spend it."

He had a point. "How do you know all this?"

"A few years back, I used to be at this place in Kumogakure. There was this outbreak of hepatitis and the government threaten to shut them down. So all the brothel owners got together and mandated that customers used condoms. However that did nothing to stop the infection, so they banned sex all together. It surprisingly worked out well."

That sounds way too good to be true. "And you think that's going to happen here?"

"Otogakure practically runs off the prostitution business. They shut that down, and this whole town goes straight to hell." He sits down next to me.

I thought about what he said for a moment. Otogakure is the capital of this country and if for whatever reason it shuts down, the whole country will fall apart as well. "It'll be a really tough challenge."

"I'm all about tough challenges." He retorts. "Nothing is impossible; where there's a will there's a way."

That's the problem. My will died so long ago. There's nothing in this world worth fighting for anymore. I gave up on hard to accomplish dreams, for easy reality. Nothing is going to take away from the fact that we're held captive against our will.

Perhaps he has enough hope for both of us.

**XoXoX**

He's really serious about changing things for the better. I figured him to be one of the many people that were all talk and no action.

I was wrong.

To show my support, I agreed to help Sasuke go over the finances. I'm not actually doing anything, besides sitting against the bookshelf and listen to him talk himself through the math he's doing. He has it heavily set in his head that this is our opportunity to make things better.

I don't believe that it is. This town runs off this immoral business, and it's going to be hard to find a new source of revenue. You can't change an entire city in a matter of hours. Culture is something that evolves over time.

Too bad I can't tell him that.

I will say that I admire his determination and ambition, though it will be in vain.

Try.

All you need to do is try.

_And fail._

There is no part of me that wants to be insensitive and say I told you so. It's not his fault that he is driven by his dreams which makes people do dumb things.

I don't usually indulge my dreams.

They are illogical sequences that do nothing but take up space in my mind. I automatically stop them before they start. They have no business being in my mind, I'm not bored child in need of entertainment.

I remember when I used to dream about my parents. I used to want to believe that they would feel so sorry about what they put me through, but I know they're not. I know they don't care, it's stupid to think otherwise. If they did care, I highly doubt that I would be here.

Then again, what if they don't know I'm here?

What if they think I'm dead? 

The flicker of hope gets downed immediately. They know I'm here because this is where they ditched me. They know I'm alive, but can't live with the regret they feel, so they avoid me.

I hate them.

I detest them with every fiber of my being.

To say I want them to suffer doesn't even begin to describe how I feel about them. I hope they're miserable, living a life that even the most lowlife scum doesn't deserve. I want them to wake up and feel the torment that I have to watch and live through every single day. I want pieces of them to decay slowly and painfully. I want for them to realize their slow, internal demise.

But for all the suffering I would love for them to endure, I know they are only feeling relieved.

Happiness.

Uplifted.

Wealthy.

Unburdened.

"Is it normal to hate your parents?"

"In normal cases, a sense of loathing for one's parents is usually caused by teen angst, and is not really considered hatred at all. However in cases like yours, contempt stems from the feeling of abandonment or hurt. So it isn't normal, so much as it is natural given the type of situation." He says while not looking up from the computer.

I nod after processing the words. So I shouldn't feel bad for detesting them, I should embrace it. I will accept the feeling as something I can't avoid and at the same time, avoid letting it fester.

Or perhaps it's too late.

Maybe my hatred has grown to the point of no return. "Don't you ever think its too late?"

"No." He answers simply.

"Surely there has to be a time where change and hope are futile in the eyes of reality."

He sighs and pushes himself away from the desk. "Coming from anyone else, that is an excuse not to try. But from you, it's sounds a lot like the fear of failing."

Aren't we all? When we were little and didn't know any better, we would experiment and not be afraid of the outcome. But as one gets older, we only want the best possible outcome a situation can offer.

Failure is not an acceptable option. Society is not so kind to those who don't succeed. Being afraid of that is one of the curses of being educated. "Maybe I am."

"Life is an experiment, full of trial and error. You make mistakes and learn from them. There is no point in doing something if nothing is to be gained. Likewise there is no point in not knowing if something works. If you do that, then you'll be stuck wondering 'what if' for the rest of your life."

Who has time to ponder hypothetical situations that have already happened? The path has been chosen, and there isn't anything someone can do to change that. Is that people enjoy wallowing in what could have been?

I could have been in a loving home with my parents and I could still have friends that talk to me.

But I don't.

The latter is something I could control to an extent, but the former is completely out of my hands. Maybe I'm not worthy of being loved or I just wasn't good enough for them. What other reason could it be? Surely they are logical enough to know that this life isn't one of happiness. You can't sell your child to slavery and expect things to work out well.

"I don't dwell on the past." I say quietly.

He laughs, much to my surprise. "You may not acknowledge it, but you do. Your thoughts are driven by your unsettled past and pent up feelings."

"I don't need closure, I'm over it already."

He sits back in his chair and crosses his arms. "Who are you trying to convince?"

I lower my eyes to the floor.

"I don't know."


	9. Tragedy is Blunt

**Thank you to the reviewers of the last chapter, they are deeply appreciated. I am sorry that it took forever to update, I'll try to get better.**

**Chapter 9**

**Tragedy is Blunt**

**XoXoX**

There was a slight panic in the atmosphere of a disease being tracked back here. Orochimaru has made me screen every person here for signs of any STD's. It's a very tedious task that must be handled meticulously. I cannot afford to half-ass this. If one person slips by with an STD, it will be all my fault. I'll be responsible for anybody who gets infected. Though I don't see why the men would even consider not wearing condoms. The girls have to entertain many men for hours and hours on end.

It's unsanitary and irresponsible.

If they catch something, it's their own fault. Their mothers should have taught them to never stick their body parts in unfamiliar territory. You lay down with the dogs, of course you're going to wake up with fleas.

It's common sense.

Once again, I'm being punished for idiots' mistakes. It doesn't really matter, stuff like this supposed to be done routinely. However due to the condition of our file system, I'm forced to start over from scratch.

Luckily, mostly everyone turned out to be clean.

However the few that did have something wrong with them, were at risk of being put down. The atmosphere of the room changed very quickly. There was a cold wind that would roll by every so often. The lights automatically dimmed, making the room more grim. I disliked how the results of the test took forever to show up. It made the poor subjects uneasy and frightful, which in turn made me seem cruel for taking a while to diagnose them.

One girl has anemia, but it's due to her low iron levels. She was relieved to hear that there was an easy treatment. Another had diabetes, something that could be managed by monitoring her intake of sugar. She wasn't exactly ecstatic seeing how she loved sugar, but she's lucky that it's nothing worth being killed for.

Sasuke runs the risk of developing coronary heart disease, along with a multitude of other health complications, due to his smoking habit. I gave him a box of nicotine patches and a warning not to use more than one. I doubt he's going to use them. If my life wasn't on the line, I would happily let him smoke himself to death.

The number of girls that had cancer was shocking. I delivered the news plainly, earning similar reactions.

There was a light at the end of the tunnel.

Most of them had the curable form of cancer. That was a major relief for those lucky few.

The rest, their days were numbered. I didn't comfort the ones that burst out into tears. I didn't say anything consoling or offer any advice to make the rest of their days better. It wasn't my job to do so, just to deliver facts. Some were going to die, and some weren't.

It was as simple as that.

I felt like the grim reaper, delivering all these people's fates with a cold indifference.

But all that was nothing when the last person, a girl named Emi, was diagnosed with AIDS. I stared at her results for a bit of time, trying to see if what I was reading was true. No matter how many times I reread it, it kept turning out to read positive. She must have had it for a while, either that or one of the scum bags gave it to her. Had I known it earlier, she could have been treated.

"Is...is everything alright?" She asks timidly.

But it's too late now.

I turn to face her. I didn't want to just say it because then it would seem like I didn't care. But I didn't want to prolong it because she was on the edge of her seat, and by not saying anything I'm not making the situation any better.

By this time Kabuto has shown up to review my work. He was going to love hearing this.

"You have AIDS." I say with no sorrow or sympathy.

Once I saw her eyes swell up with tears, my eyes dart to the floor. "Are there others?" Kabuto questions with a hint of eagerness in his voice.

I shake my head. "Just her." I mustered up the courage to look at her again. She was mentally pleading with me to do something, but I couldn't. She was hoping I would save her, and I didn't. I walked out of the room and let Kabuto deal with her.

The most cowardly of decisions.

**XoXoX**

The sadden atmosphere was more than I was able to handle. I barricaded myself in my room, knowing that I wouldn't have to deal with everyone's sorrow. I sentenced quite a few girls to death and no was happy about it.

I anticipated that most of the girls would be depressed about their fates. They were going to die soon, that's something that wouldn't exactly put someone in the best of spirits. Still, I just want them to get over it.

Call me heartless, but I could care less about their livelihood. If they die, than they die. There's nothing that can be done about that.

I can't be bothered to feel remorse for them. The sadness I used to feel when I saw someone I know and care about hurt, dissolved into nothing. I don't feel anything for them anymore. Not that it matters since they pity themselves enough for the both of us.

In a way, I'm jealous of them. It sounds completely insane, but given the conditions of our environment, death seems like a beautiful reprieve. They get to leave this crappy life behind. Instead of fearing death, they should embrace it. It's an integral part of the life cycle; it helps maintain the order in which things are placed in.

Hinata walks in the room with tear streaks on her face. I turn away from her, not wanting to hear another sob story. Quite frankly, I'm sick of them. "Kira died." She says softly. I don't say anything. "She was so young, she shouldn't have died."

I don't believe that people can be too young to die. Every living thing is a perfect candidate for death. Death doesn't recognize age. In death's eyes, a newborn and an elderly person are the same. We just say that because we think that the person didn't fulfill their purpose in life. The problem with that is humans are never satisfied with what they have. They always want more, therefore someone's purpose may never be completed.

Life is just a period of time that varies.

Babies are defenseless and constantly need to know that someone is there to care for them. Kids run around not knowing a thing, not caring to know anything outside of a good time. Teenagers try to find independence and make their mark on the world. Adults work and try to find the meaning of life, eventually settling for whatever makes sense in their mind. The elderly sit back and reflect on it all, while waiting for their time to end.

We spend our entire lives striving to make it the best we can. Such momentous things like having a rewarding job, a beautiful home, and a divine family mean nothing in the end.

All the hard work is for nothing.

So why even strive to achieve such things?

Life is redundant.

What's the point in going through hell to live a good life, if you're only going to be buried six feet under next to the most unfortunate person in the world?

"It was bound to happen sooner or later." My voice broke through the silence.

"How can you be so insensitive?"

I stood up and sighed. "I'm not being insensitive, I'm being realistic. She had Leukemia and it was far too late to start treatment. I could have tried, but it would have been in vain, not to mention I would be wasting supplies on a hopeless cause. It's better to protect the ones with a strong chance of living."

Her eyes narrow and her arms fold across her chest. "You love to give up, don't you?"

"I love investing my time in things that will actually survive to see the outcome." I push past her to escape the hostile environment.

**XoXoX**

All the major brothel owners were here, having a meeting over dinner. Hinata was supposed to cook for them, but she is sick. Kabuto figured I'd make a great substitute, despite having next to no experience in the kitchen.

This is my chance to finally rid myself of the people that make my life a living hell. They say you should treat the hand that feeds you appropriately, but that ideology goes way over their heads.

I'm not above spitting in their food, or dropping it on the germ infested floor a few times. They deserve it. If I had some vomit inducing medicine, I'd put a few drops of it into the boiling pot of water, to give the soup a greater substance.

I step away from the stove to finish chopping the vegetables. While I was doing that, I was envisioning that they were the people that I couldn't stand. Being too caught up in my fantasy, I almost chopped my finger off. I thought I escaped injury, but the blood dripping from my finger says otherwise. I sigh at my own clumsiness and take care of my wound.

Aoki, a girl whose task is to serve the slop I cooked for tonight, enters the kitchen, humming a light tune. The melodic noise stops when she sees me trying to clean up the blood on the floor. She gasps. "Are you okay?"

"Peachy." I reply.

"Oh, okay." She says albeit uncertainly. She walks toward the refrigerator and studies the contents. "Do you need any help?" She asks. I nod curtly and gesture towards the meat that has yet to be seasoned and tossed in the pan. "This isn't how I envisioned the end of my life."

I raised an eyebrow.

"I always thought that I would be surrounded by my friends and family." She pauses, drawing a shuddery breath. "I can't believe it's going to end so soon." Tears swell up in her eyes and she makes no attempt to keep them at bay. "There was so much that I wanted to do but...but...I never got the chance to."

I turn to face her. "Look, let's say you aren't going to die soon. All your goals will still go unaccomplished because you are stuck here. The only sure thing you can plan on is dying. No one cares about you or any of us, we're all worthless drudges; pesky stains on the fabric of society. You'd be doing yourself a favor if you just die right now."

She stopped crying, much to my surprise. The features of her face straightened and her expression could no longer be determined. She nodded slightly and continued working on the meat.

Fifteen minutes later, we emerged from the kitchen, carrying plates full of slop that is fit for the bastards. I carefully place a plate in front of Orochimaru. He looks at me cautiously. "If you don't trust me, then you shouldn't have made me cook."

He smirks. "I'm not worried. You don't have the guts to do anything." The taunting tone of his voice irritates me.

"If only I did, than I wouldn't have to see you ever again."

He lets out a very low and sinister chuckle. "I admire your audacity to say such a thing. To bad actions speak louder than words." He shoos me away like I'm some insignificant bug. I walk away feeling nothing but anger, not so much at my master, but at my own lack of drive to kill him.

He makes ending people's lives look easy.

I just can't bring myself to do it.

**XoXoX**

My day ended after I was forced to do menial tasks that had zero importance to anyone. Kabuto enjoys giving me unimportant chores just to assert his dominance over me. Especially now, since the master isn't paying that much attention to him. He's been feeling like he has to rule over everyone with an iron fist, just so the master can see that he needs him. But master doesn't need anyone really, now that he has Sasuke.

I was going to retreat to the safety of my room, but I was stopped by a frantic and tearful Hinata. I wasn't going to bother asking what was wrong, since it was very likely that the reason she was crying was because someone died. She should know that I of all people just don't care anymore. I have had enough of hearing about tragic endings.

She utters something that I couldn't comprehend. I figured it was nothing that was of vital importance, so I start to walk away. She grabs my wrist and tugs me towards her. Without saying a word, we rushed off in the opposite direction of where I wanted to be. She didn't offer me any explanations, she just led towards the infirmary. As much as I wanted to get away, her fierce grip wouldn't let me.

There are so many things I'd rather do than look at someone's dead or dying body.

Our destination was a room crowded with girls. The only sounds in the room were sobs and periodic beeping from the defibrillator. Hinata pushed through the crowd with me in tow. With each step, I found myself being less empathic with the surroundings.

That is until I saw the bloody mess of a person laying on the bed.

My breath got caught in my throat at the sight. I thought I saw everything I could ever see in a place like this, but something always happens to prove me wrong. It was worse than anything I have ever seen, or could imagine.

I focused on the arm that was hanging off the side of the bed, trying to delay the worse that has yet to be seen. The muscle was exposed and a lot of blood leaked from the wound and onto the floor. I muster up some courage to take a step closer.

The features of their face was unrecognizable. Lots of dark red, practically black liquid seeped from everywhere. The only thing that stuck out from the pool of blood was bits bone and clumps of flesh.

I reached out to wipe some of the blood away, but I ended up removing a portion of loose flesh. It flopped to the floor, leaving a blood splatter on the cold tile.

My eyes focus on the top of the head. I carefully push back the barely there scalp, to reveal the brain. Part of it looked like it had been liquified in a blender. I'm nothing short of surprised that the vital signs were registering this person as being alive.

Then again, they are on life support. The girls must have hoped that I could somehow fix this person, but this is beyond my control. I can't do anything for this person. I might as well get their name for their tombstone, because the grave is where they're headed. "Who is this?" I ask anyone who was coherent.

Hinata sniffles before speaking. "It's...Tenten."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, thinking that it was the reason I couldn't speak. Even still, words failed to come out of my mouth. I turn to Tenten, who only seems to be getting worse as time goes by. I just stood there and stared at her.

I had no idea what to do.

The room fell silent, save the beeping noise. The reason being was because Orochimaru has entered the room.

This is the first time in my life, that I am happy to see him. He is known throughout the medical field as a topnotch expert. He knows an extensive amount of things about the human body, that even scientist didn't know.

If anyone could help her, it's definitely him. The relief I felt, made me want to embrace him.

He steps towards the bed, eying the girl carefully. He glances towards the machines and back down at her. My heartbeat slows, waiting to hear his verdict. "It's your call." The man says to me simply. He turns to walk away.

"Wait! There's nothing you can do?" I called after him.

He turns his head slightly. "Like I said, it's your call." He left, just as quickly as he came.

That simple phrase alone put the responsibility back in my hands. The girls want me to do everything I can to save her. I want to save her, but I know that her condition is far too severe for me to do anything.

Every second I spend debating what I should do, is another second that she is suffering.

It's not fair to her.

She doesn't deserve this.

I look at her now abstract face, wanting her to suddenly feel better. She is a strong person that can handle anything. She has taken harsh beatings before and was known to get up the next day to start the cycle again. There was no such luck this time.

This is hard choice that I don't want to make.

I don't want it to be my responsibility.

I don't want her to die, but I don't want her to suffer.

Without thinking about it any further, I pulled the plug of the life support system.

The room was silent, and I knew it was from shock. I stared at my right hand that pulled the plug for what seemed like an eternity. The stillness in the room was taking its toll on me, so I left. I heard Hinata call after me, but I ignored her. I push pass the other girls to get to the empty hallway.

I slumped down to the floor, replaying the past events in my mind over and over.

Not a single tear fell from my eyes.

I killed my best friend, and I don't feel anything.

No remorse or anger.

Just acknowledgment that it happened.


	10. Regret is Restraining

**Chapter 10**

**Regret is Restraining**

**XoXoX**

I sat, back against the wall, staring at my hands. The things that signed the death certificate of many; handing out death sentences like they were free samples. The hands that have the capability to save lives, and yet only chooses to end them because to save them is too much work. They're the same hands that pulled the plug; that ended my best friend's life.

I couldn't stop them from trembling. She's been dead for...five minutes. Maybe ten. I really don't know how much time has past since that moment. It feels like time has been droning. Seconds feel like hours, and minutes feel even longer. Around me, things are happening fast, or at a regular rate. My sense of reality is slightly warped. Maybe it's because I'm busy reliving the past five or ten minutes again.

I want to forget it and brush it off as another casualty, but I can't. We were too close. I have successfully pushed my other friends away, but for some reason I couldn't do the same to her. We don't get to see each other often. At times, I find myself yearning for her company. I never bothered to seek her out because I knew she was busy working, pleasing pigs, and nursing injuries that I should be caring for.

Never again. That cycle will never repeat itself.

After several antagonizing moments, I was finally living in the present. As much as I'd hate to admit it, the past still lingered in the back of my mind. When I close my eyes, I see her smiling face, then it distorts into a bloody mess. From there I just see her body as it laid when I left.

I need to get over it.

The hallway was vacant, aside from my meager self. I hate the silence that surrounds me. It was too loud. I was hearing everything and nothing at the same time. Cries of sorrow, a sullen heartbeat, an imaginary clock ticking, death leaving with my friend, and quiescence.

Stillness.

Nothing.

When I finally overcame numbness, I had to force myself to get over a feeling akin to what I think is pity. People die every single day, so what makes her death special? She wasn't going to live forever. No is, so I can't be caught up on this matter for too much longer.

I tell myself that, but I hardly believe it.

Could it be that I have finally crashed into rock bottom?

No, I haven't.

I won't.

I never will.

The moment I started walking away, was the moment I decided I didn't want to be here anymore. My legs moved with a hurried speed, moving faster at the thought of running into someone. I need to get out of this area as soon as possible.

I have to be alone, for my own sake. The smallest interaction with anyone is a gut churning thought. I can't face anyone while they are overly emotional and I don't feel a thing.

Too many questions.

Too much displaced anger.

Sooner or later I will have to explain my decision to the others. I want to delay that interaction for as long as I can. It angers in a way that they just can't see there was no hope for her. It was too late. There was nothing I could do to save her. It would have been a waste of supplies to even stabilize her in that condition.

I can't tell them that.

With their always try attitude, they wouldn't understand. They don't care to see my logic, just as I don't care to see theirs. Trying to defend myself would be a waste of breath. They won't listen to reason, especially if it's coming from my mouth.

To keep her alive is selfish on our part. Yes, she is our friend and we want to keep it that way forever, but nothing lasts forever. She was in great pain, and as her friend I didn't want her to suffer anymore. To kill her immediately was the only way to ensure that wouldn't happen. It's hard to say goodbye to friends, but sometimes you have to. It was for the best, whether anyone wants to acknowledge this or not as truth, that's on them.

She lost her life, and we lost a friend.

No one won today.

The best way to deal with this situation, is to stand by my choice.

Eventually they'll accept it and move on.

**XoXoX**

I woke up, not wanting it to be tomorrow. I have one task to do and that's to prepare Tenten's body for burial. I don't want to do it, much less with the help of Kabuto. I need to be professional about this. I've prepared bodies for burial numerous times. This time should be no different.

I don't miss her or wish she was still alive, but the task at hand is a little unsettling. Not that I have ever taken joy out of what I do, but this has to be the most depressing thing that I'm about to do.

Very few people are awake at the moment, which is good because I still don't want to face people. It's too early in the morning to deal with someone's disdain for me because I decided to put Tenten out of her misery.

The walk to the morgue feels daunting. My steps are slow in spite of wanting to get there quickly.

I stood on the outside of the door to gather my thoughts.

She is no different from any other corpse I've seen. Our friendship was severed the moment I pulled the plug. She means nothing to me. I don't care about her because there is nothing about her that needs to be cared for.

There is nothing more in this world that I want more than for those previous statements to be completely true.

I open the door, casting away all my inhibitions. The room was empty and quiet. The gateway to an eternal place buried beneath the surface was grim. The lighting was bright, in an ominous way. The entire area beckoned death to wait until we extract any useful things before tossing the vessel and allowing it to rot in a fancy wooden box.

I pulled on a pair of gloves and open the refrigerator that contained her body. I was glad that she was in a closed and opaque body bag. I don't think that the girls bothered to clean her up a bit before placing her in here. I'm not looking forward to unzipping it, but the longer I stand here not doing anything productive, the longer I have to stay in a room with cold, dead bodies.

The dissection table made a creaking noise that echoed throughout the room as I rolled it to where Tenten was. I carefully lift her body on the table and roll it back to the middle of the room. I find myself staring at the black bag, thinking it would magically open by itself.

The door opens, revealing a joyous looking Kabuto. He isn't truly happy unless he's dismembering someone. He smirks when he sees me. "I see someone is eager to work today."

"I just want to get this over with."

He pouts in a childlike manner. "That's no fun."

"It's not supposed to be"

While I was gathering the materials, I heard him unzip the bag. I stayed still for a moment, preparing myself for a cruel sight. Instead of looking at the table, I was focused on Kabuto's expression. He looked as if he stuck gold; wide eyes that were filled with glee and mouth set in a large grin. "She's beautiful." He gasped in astonishment. My eyes darted downward, only catching a glimpse of purple and blue. "Wouldn't you agree Sakura?" His tone was mocking.

I didn't answer him. What is laying before me is far from beautiful. Tenten was a girl of autumn beauty, the number of men she pleasures can attest to this. Everything about her was warm and welcoming.

The person on the table was not her. She was cold, her facial features unrecognizable. Her skin lost it's warmth, now replaced with an icy blue glow. The blood that was on her face dried in layers, deep wine red in color. Her lips that usually held a smile were pale, chapped, and set in a neutral position.

"Let's hurry through the external exam so we can get to the more interesting part."

We didn't bother cleaning her, that will be another person's job. I documented the exposed muscles and unattached skin. On her right bicep, I can faintly see what appears to be scratch marks. She was missing a lot of flesh and bones were sticking out of places where bones shouldn't be. In some places I couldn't tell if there was any bruises due to the blood, outside of that the external exam went fairly smooth.

Kabuto made the y-incision to expose her abdomen. I note the several broken ribs on the autopsy sheet. With his bare hands, he touches her liver which was still healthy. "That's disgusting." I commented.

He scoffs, not caring what I think. Right now, he's in heaven and nothing is going to bring him down. I allow him the few moments of admiring the organs. "We can't use any of her organs for transplants, but they would be great for experiments." He said cheerfully.

I nod and grab several containers filled with embalming fluid. I label each one accordingly as he removes the organs. When it came down to the brain, we couldn't do anything with it. Only a small portion of it was slightly undamaged, the rest was useless.

"We're not burning this one." I said to no one in particular.

He seemed disappointed at the news. "Fine."

I held her death certificate in my hands. It was waiting to be checked off for a cause of death and signed. I stared at the words homicide. Usually some sort of justice is done when someone dies at the hands of another person.

Not for her.

I labeled her death a clinical one and sign the paper.

Maybe now I can forget about this whole thing.

**XoXoX**

I mentally reprimand myself for avoiding everyone. It seems like such a cowardly thing to do, but I can't think of a good response that will satisfy the one question I know they will constantly ask.

Why?

I had to. If it weren't me, then it would be even more torturous for her. The other girls would have prolonged it by saying tearful goodbyes and taking trips down memory lane. There was too much emotion connecting them, _us_, together. It would have been impossible for them to sever that bond. Yet I did it like she was a stranger.

That response would only infuriate them.

Today is about to be the fourth day in a row that I have managed to avoid talking to them.

I should have known it would end soon.

Hinata walked in the room, eyes red from crying. She was holding a piece of paper, I presume it to be Tenten's death certificate. I was surprised that she wasn't yelling at me...yet. We've been through this too many times before, she's going to leave in tears and it's because of what I said.

She sat on the edge of the bed, with a small, sad smile on her face. "It's nice that she's going to get a proper burial." Her voice finally broke the silence.

I say nothing, an unsettling feeling swelling in my stomach, impairing my ability to speak. It was slowly getting worse as time goes by.

"It will be in a week from today. We're working on reconstituting her, so she looks nice." She turns to face me. "I know you don't care but-" The rest of her sentence went unheard, the sound of my thumping heart taking place of her words.

I do care.

She was one of my best friends, and now she's dead.

"It would mean a lot to us if you would show up." She places her hand on my leg. "At least think about it."

When I didn't give any sign of agreement, she left.

Once the door closed, whatever was causing me discomfort decided to relieve itself via throwing up all over my bed. I shudder from the rush of endorphins. My body felt heavier than usual. It took a lot of effort to get up and gather the soiled sheets. I didn't want to move, I just want to curl up in a ball.

Why have I grown so weak?

It's pathetic.

My heartbeat was like thunder, getting louder with every step I take. Luckily the laundry room isn't that far. By the time I got there, I am completely exhausted. Things were about to get a lot worse. Of all the places Hinata could have gone to, it had to be here.

She lifts her head and smiles. "Hey Sakura."

I mumble a greeting and avoid eye contact.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I know she's staring at me and the sheets in my hand. The environment is tense with anticipation. "I'm not going." I stated.

"I understand." She replied in a soft voice.

My knees gave out on me. Hinata gasps and I hear her feet pad towards me. Her arms wrap around my shoulders and pull me close to her chest. Her warmth is radiating and tries to break through my icy exterior.

It can't.

I don't think anything can.

She feels so alive, something I have been longing for. I envy a lot about her. She can forgive easily. I lack the ability to accomplish that. She can let go of anything and be fine. I will always be burdened by my past and wary of the future.

For some reason, I start to tear up. "It's okay Sakura."

No it's not.

It never will be.

I push her away and collect myself.

Everything in me wants to make peace with her, but something is holding me back. I want to be able to tell her everything, but I can't. I shouldn't bother sharing my troubles with others. She wouldn't understand; I don't even understand.

She can't ease this feeling I have.

I'm convinced that she'll only make the pain worse.

**XoXoX**

The interior of the compound was silent for several hours. Almost everyone was outside for Tenten's funeral. I stayed in my bed, thinking about how it would feel to watch someone you once cared about be buried. It further drives in the point that you will never have the luxury of being in their presence.

The fact that anyone wants to go through that, is beyond me.

When it was over, the overall mood seemed to be uplifted. One wouldn't know that a funeral had just occurred based on the current surroundings. They weren't laughing boisterously, but there were lighthearted chuckles.

Almost as if they have healed.

They have accepted Tenten's fate a lot quicker than I had thought. Conversely, here I am still dwelling on the matter. I pull myself up into a sitting position and stare at the door. The debate of walking out of it or staying was in favor of the former.

Being here wasn't going to make me feel any better. Perhaps a walk will help clear my mind.

I wasn't being mindful of my steps, yet I knew where I was headed to. I didn't want to go to her grave, but I felt compelled to. I'm not sure what I'm expecting to get out of this situation, but if it helps put all this behind me, then I'll do it.

It was raining heavily, a sign of the earth weeping at the burial of another innocent soul. My bare feet sunk into the grass, leaving a trail as I walked. There was something surreal about being here. Until recently, I never thought about burying her. She was strong and could endure anything.

I got down on my knees and touched the cold marble. I wasn't sure if I was involuntarily crying or if it was just rain falling down my face. I wanted to say something, but it would be pointless because she wouldn't hear me.

I was silently waiting for the heavy weight that I have been carrying to go away.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

When I heard soft footsteps, I turned around and was shocked at who I saw.

He glances at me before staring at the name engraved in stone. "It's never easy to say goodbye to someone you care about. It's almost impossible to accept. You desperately want to keep them alive, despite the obvious signs that it is time to let go. Yet, you made the choice look easy."

It was easy at the time, but now...I feel terrible and it makes it hard for me to get anything done.

"When my mother was dying due to liver failure, I thought that I could save her. I don't remember how many transplants and transfusions I went through before I finally sustained her. Even though I knew she was in a vegetative state, I didn't care. I was just glad that she was kind of alive. I let her suffer for three weeks before I realized that keeping her on life support wasn't fair to her."

He paused when lightning struck a tree in the distance.

"I struggled with the decision for hours, and finally settled with the fact that I couldn't do it. Luckily there was a thunderstorm that night that knocked out the power. It relieved so much of the pressure, but did nothing to quell the guilt."

I looked up into his amber eyes. The pressure he felt then, is most likely the pressure that I'm feeling now. I already pulled the plug, so it should be gone.

But it's not.

"There is no right or wrong way of handling the situation. Either way she would have died. It's just a matter of wanting to accept it."

"It doesn't matter because the principle is still the same. I've handed people death sentences with a cruel indifference, she should be no exception to this. She's just another person that was fated to die at my hands."

He laughs. "I have heard stories of your warped perception on life, but I never thought they were true." He looks toward the sky. "It's okay to feel remorse for something you had to do. It's part of the growing process."

"I feel like it's weighing me down."

"That's from all the unnecessary baggage that you carry. You need to come to terms with everything that has happened in your life." He starts to leave. "It'll make things a lot easier."

A small ray of sunshine broke out from the thick clouds.

Perhaps he's right. I can never forget all that has happened, but I'm sure that maybe one day, I'll be able to forgive. I wonder what it will be like to walk around, free of all types of restraints. It will probably be worth it.

"Orochimaru-sama?"

He turns his head.

"_Thank you."_


	11. Part I: Of Evolution and Enlightenment

**Chapter 11**

**Progress is Subjective**

**Part I: Of Evolution and Enlightenment**

**XoXoX**

In the past, it was sort of acceptable to blow off work for rest or purely out of not wanting to do anything. Kabuto can't carry out threats properly and Rinji spends his time getting wasted and passing out in one of the booths. There weren't any consequences as long as it wasn't a task that Orochimaru personally ordered you to do.

But now, order was being restored to the brothel.

Sort of.

The amount of tired faces and yawns meant that it was too early in the morning. The sun is just now rising from the horizon. For some unexplained reason, everyone was told to congregate in the main room.

Hinata sighs. "This better not be another task assignment meeting."

We've had four so far this week and it's only Tuesday. Our schedule has constantly been rearranged due to some mistakes Kabuto made about a year ago. He incorrectly filed some reports that were sent to the Bureau for Businesses. It is crucial for them to know the amount of people that have fatal, communicable, and/or recurring diseases. They also need to know the amount of people that died while here.

I initially thought that by burning birth certificates and hiding the body, then the public wouldn't know anything. But thanks to the two men that contracted an STD from a brothel, they have decided to publicly denounce and demand the shut down of brothels. They did candid exposes of the brothels, to which no one paid much attention to because Otogakure thrives on prostitution.

However, they did take notice on how brothel owners can literally get away with murder.

While prostitution is completely legal and tolerated, murder is not.

The owners have a dream team of lawyers that keep them out of legal trouble.

The Bureau for Businesses negates responsibility of the owner and puts it on the person that died. Or their parents, depending on how young the person is. Without proper documentation the Bureau can't determine who is at fault. Brothel owners could be arrested for murder, attempting to conceal the murder, and subjecting workers to unsafe conditions. Those crimes are punishable by shut down of business, a heavy fine, long term jail time, or death.

Orochimaru isn't aware of Kabuto's mistake, and Kabuto would like to keep it that way. We've been trying to compensate for his failure since he was bound to get us all in trouble soon. Fixing this problem would be a lot easier if we didn't burn the records of the deceased and properly buried all of them.

The quiet whispers of speculation ceased as Orochimaru walked down the stairs. He eyes us suspiciously, which instills fear in our hearts. "What are you doing here?" He asked plainly.

The girls look at Hinata, making her the spokesperson of the group. "Waiting for our orders." She tried to say as confidently as possible.

He folds his arms over his chest. "I gave you your orders a few days ago."

"Well..." She trailed off, not sure of what to say.

Luckily Kabuto showed up. He gasped upon seeing his master. "My lord, what are you doing here?"

The man narrows his eyes. "I could ask the same of you. Is there something you need to tell me?"

Kabuto never looked so afraid in his life. He tried keep his composure, but no one could miss the way his eyes glistened and the slight tremble of his lip. "No. I'm just solving the lack of work that has been going on."

"Whatever." He rolls his eyes and walks away, not questioning anything further.

We stood silent for a few moments to ensure that Orochimaru was gone. "Okay, we still have ten more bodies to recover, but it will easy."

Ami was enraged at his choice of words. "It will be easy? Are you fucking kidding! We've stayed up for hours on Monday trying to fix this shit, and we've only found one person." The others agreed with her. Twenty-four hours and our combined effort has produced dismal results.

Hinata stepped forward. "Why should we help you anyway?"

This was their chance to be free. If they don't help Kabuto, than Orochimaru will get arrested. That means the brothel will shut down.

Their dream will finally come true.

It doesn't come without a heavy price.

"Because if we don't, then we'll end up in the streets. Or with a master that is crueler than Orochimaru." I didn't sympathize with Kabuto. Had our livelihood not be in jeopardy, I wouldn't care about his problems. "Their going to pass a law soon. They'll imprison homeless people and charge them with aggressive panhandling and any crime that has happened at the time of capture. If you think we have no rights now, it gets way worse in prison."

The idea of freedom merely sounds like a good one. In reality, the only job they're qualified for is prostitution. Most slaves are taken when they're young, so their education level is slim to none. They wouldn't be able to function properly in the real world.

Hinata looked at me, wanting to refute that statement, but she can't. She knows there is no place for us outside of this brothel. "Come on guys, lets get to work." She says quietly, stealing another glance at me.

I've finally gotten through to her, if only slightly.

Why does life seem so much darker now?

**XoXoX**

Depending on how you look at it, cognitional evolution was happening. Evolution of species didn't happen over a matter of hours, it took several hundred years. Though the amount of things humans go through in an hour can change them and define how they view the Earth.

These girls are just as stubborn as I am. Their mantra cannot be broken nor penetrated by any sort of negativity. Their heads are always tilted upwards, not paying attention to their surroundings but at their dream future.

It took a while, but I think I've finally gotten through to them. At the least, I've made them glance at reality.

"So we can't get a nice house and marry the guy of our dreams, because all these guys are jerks. Nor can we seek refuge in other countries, because the border is too far and we'll get caught before we even make it."

"Don't forget that most countries have forbid us from entering." Ami added.

"That's completely fair. They can come here and take advantage of us, but we can't go to their country for relief." Yoko threw a few useless files in the trash.

"It's all because of that invasion that happened several decades ago."

Yoko laughs bitterly. "I thought it was because they don't want the prostitution business to infect them."

"Either way, it's pointless trying to escape now. No one will help us. Our own citizens don't give a damn about us, otherwise there would be more protests." Aoki spat with a lot of venom lacing her voice. She used to be hopeful, but I think what I said to her when we had kitchen duty really settled in.

"God, you're starting to sound like Sakura."

"Noriko!" Hinata scolded.

She winces. "Sorry, Sakura. I forgot you were here."

"It's fine." I muttered quietly.

"Things are going to change! Just wait."

Cho brushed Ami's comment off. "Man, you've been saying that for years."

For the longest time, I believed that change was impractical and will not yield positive results.

Progress has the prefix pro- which means positive or in favor of. In this industry, it's all about the clients and bosses. No one cares about the lives destroyed in this business. The slaves are not people but mere objects for sexual satisfaction.

What's right for the people at the top is to obtain money by any means, at the slave's expense. Something that is good for prostitutes is bad for business and the overall economy.

They die a little everyday. Go through perpetual cycles of depression and self loathing. To keep themselves going they have to come up with false positives and dream for a day that it will all be over. When that doesn't happen they are left with two choices. They either decide to end it themselves via suicide or attempt escape.

Or they just accept their fate.

"Look, things are bad now. But, we can't give up. Think about the future and the generations of people after us. We can't let them down. I don't want another generation to go through what we're going through. We gotta hang on, otherwise this disease will spread and affect other innocent people. Everything happens for a reason. It seems cruel to be forced into this lifestyle, but some good is going to come out of it." Hinata stated.

In a weird way, she's right.

This their safe haven. The brothel offers them a place to sleep and a decent amount of food to keep them from starving to death. Above all that, they are surrounded by people that can closely relate to them. From there, a strong alliance is created.

You can't get that anywhere else.

While that's enough to keep them going, for me it does nothing to quell the formidable force of giving in.

"Yeah whatever. I'm taking a break." Cho stated after throwing the papers on the ground. Aoki and several others followed.

Hinata watched helplessly as the once united group of friends separated. She couldn't say anything that would make them stay. They were done hearing speeches of how if they wait and never give up, then things would be okay.

The line has been drawn, those with hope and those without it.

I thought watching people become enlighten would bring me joy, but doesn't.

Hinata looks at me, but doesn't say anything.

She didn't need to.

I know what's she's thinking.

This is all my fault.

My pessimistic ideals have finally gotten through to some.

The bad part of that is that hope is what kept these girls strong. It's what united them and made their bond unbreakable. They need each other; they need to keep believing. Otherwise things will just fall apart.

Usually when you do something wrong, it's up to you to make it right.

But I can't fix them, if I can't fix myself.

**XoXoX**

Since we haven't found anyone's files, gravestone, or extracted organs, the next best thing to do was to enlist someone who knew how to crack the system. "Thanks for the help, we were never going to recover those deceased people's files." Especially since one group can't stand to be in the presence of the other.

"No problem."

"How did you become so fluent with computers?"

He shrugs. "I learned it from a group of drug dealers."

"Drug dealers taught you how to hack into computers?"

"They taught me how to break into the police database and from there I've let my talent evolve."

I've always underestimated Sasuke's intellect. "You never cease to amaze me."

"I'm full of surprises."

Speaking of surprises, I never thought that the girls would separate and so bitterly at that. The hopeless act as if they have never cared for the ones that keep believing. Any slight progress they have dreamed of making is at a standstill.

The thought of having everything falling apart was raking at me. We're out of options now. "I hate this."

"Everyone does." Sasuke replied simply.

"I know, but...even if we were given the opportunity to leave, we'll just end up in another prison."

He sighs. "The law hasn't passed yet."

It will.

Tourist season is approaching. The last thing the government wants is for people to go back to their countries with stories of how many impoverished people there are and how they felt the need to give them money.

"It's hopeless."

The sound of keys being pressed stopped. "You've always thought it was hopeless." He deadpanned.

I stood up, having a swelling of emotions in my chest. "Maybe there was a small chance before! Maybe if we were stronger, than we could take control. But it doesn't matter now! We'll just get bounced to another hellhole!" I collapsed, feeling completely pathetic. "I don't know why I bother waking up anymore."

He crouches in front of me, taking my hands into his. "Because you believe something is going to happen. It could be good, or bad. Whatever it is, it's enough to keep you motivated."

"Don't you think if some miracle were to come it would have happened by now?"

"Just give it time."

"Time! I've been waiting to leave this place for years! I can't wait for time to decide when I'll begin to enjoy life."

He nods. "That's true." His tone is soft and understanding, as if to break through the walls I've put up. He stands up. "Anyway, it's done. In a few minutes the virus will overwrite the files Kabuto sent and everything will be okay."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. I gotta talk to Orochimaru."

"About what?"

A devilish smirk appeared upon his lips. "It's a surprise."

"You sound like you're plotting something."

Before walking out the door and out of sight, he pauses. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. You'll just have to wait and see."

I don't want to wait anymore.

Subconsciously, I've been relying on others to satisfy me. I've expected them to do all my fighting, while I stood in the background, silently cheering them on. The problem is that you can't have an army with a weak will.

Yeah they want freedom, but they're not going to die for it.

I'm not the fighting type. I've been stripped of my will and left feeling hopelessly bitter. The pain gets worse with every failure and every hour that goes by. To make matters worse, I never let myself forget anything.

I let Ino get taken away and I never said goodbye to her.

I let Sasuke forever be bound to Orochimaru.

I've pushed several people away.

Hinata and I are no longer close.

Worst of all, I killed my best friend. My symbol for all things strong and unmoving, is gone and it's my fault.

The past will always be stuck in my mind. I need to cleanse myself of all that ails me. That is the only way that I can find some contentment with this life.

For some things, I can't make amends.

I have no idea where Ino is or if she is even alive. If we did meet, what would I even say to her? After I told myself that our friendship is over, that was it. I never thought about seeing or speaking to her again. Tenten is dead and it's impossible to apologize to a dead person. I won't speak to Hinata, convinced that she will only make things worse. Also, I refuse to give Sasuke the satisfaction of saying that he is right.

With all that said, there is no where to start.

My conscious is heavy, but my pride weighs a lot more.


	12. Part II: In Division

**A/N: I'm going to be honest, I hate this story now. Looking back at the chapters and everything, makes me want to delete this and start over. I'm going to try and make it to the end, but it's a lot harder than anticipated.**

**Chapter 12**

**Progress is Subjective**

**Part II: In Division, the Hierarchy Falls, and Roles Are Defined**

**XoXoX**

"Will you hurry up?" Kabuto barked impatiently. The urge to laugh at his pathetic attempts to salvage his rank is hard to fight.

I shot him a sideways glance but said nothing. He's like a fly on the wall that needs to be exterminated immediately. I'll admit my pace is rather leisurely, but I refuse to do anything to correct this.

He growls and the rapid tapping of foot signify his annoyance with me. It isn't a motivator to do any better, I don't care what he thinks of my work ethic. "You know that watching over me isn't going to make me work faster?"

"Well it should." He shot back.

I didn't feel the same sense of urgency he had. "Whats the rush?" I asked nonchalantly.

"It's the weekend." He deadpanned.

To me it felt like he was stating an obvious fact, in which I failed to see how it has to do with working faster. It's sunny outside, but that doesn't mean the gardener is going to show up and do their job. "So?" I pressed for an explanation.

"So, it's our busiest time of the week." He lets out an exasperated sigh. "It's a holiday weekend, meaning tourist will be here." His tone was condensing and he was looking at me as if I were a foolish child.

It's a shame that people aren't as well educated as they should be. The place will be packed full of people wanting to enjoy the world's oldest profession and they'll leave with the gift that keeps giving.

Ironically, this conversation has halted all my work. Since I'm not accomplishing much, I think it's time to pass the task onto someone else. I stood up and tossed the rag at Kabuto. "Then I suppose you should get to work." I said with a smirk.

He was fuming and at a loss for words. Cleaning rooms was a chore for the slaves, not someone of his degree. It angered him to no end whenever his authority was disrespected, not that he had much of it anyway. He salvaged the tiny amount of power he had with the hopes of being restored to his former glory. Power is the only thing that makes him feel alive. Without his reign over the lower class, he is even less of a person than he already is.

His life revolves around Orochimaru, not only due to the fact that he's lived here his entire life, but also because of how much he aspires to be like him. Kabuto's image was built in his master's likeness. He is nothing without power and his master. Looking at him now gives one a sense of pity, ignoring that he is a terrible excuse for a human.

It's amusing to see how far the mighty have fallen.

I'm not one of those people who feels sorry for him. He's finally getting what he deserves. "Don't just stand there, it's a holiday weekend, which means we'll be busier than ever." I said mimicking his exact tone. Seeing him become so enraged that he isn't able to do anything is fun.

I should do it more often.

When I walked past him, there was a foreign feeling that was taking over my being. Kabuto's presence has lost it's demanding tone and was replaced with the spirit of a servant. He didn't protest nor retort with a snide comment.

He began to the chore that I was assigned to do.

It was then that I realized that I had authority over Kabuto. A few years ago, this would have been an astonishing feat, but now it doesn't mean much. His position at the compound is pretty much worthless.

However, I can use this as a stepping stone to gain real power. Getting on Orochimaru's good side shouldn't be hard, as long as I get Sasuke to put in a good word for me. Not to mention my knowledge is far more superior than the other slaves. And every leader needs someone on the sideline to make sure things run smoothly.

I guess the question that is left without answer is, do I want to become what I have hated throughout my life? I've been cursing my superiors to fates worst than hell. In a moral sense, I've always thought of myself as better than them.

I don't think I have it in me to consciously be cruel to others without proper reason. I hate seeing people suffer. The nights that I would definitely spend thinking about I've done to the people that I care about, would be unbearable.

But it could only temporary. Maybe I'll be cruel for a while just to gain Orochimaru's trust.

What would I do with the power after I've gain it? I don't know if I would use it responsibly. I've heard numerous stories of how the nicest person on Earth will turn around and kill their whole family if they didn't worship him properly.

If I keep telling myself to maintain a level head throughout this search, than I won't abuse my power.

Eventually, I'll have to believe myself.

**XoXoX**

Still high from the short rush of authority I received, I thought of a clever plan to oust a certain someone out of their high ranked position.

I walked into Sasuke's room, knowing that he's the other person that can bring my dream to fruition. "You seem oddly happy today. What happened?"

"I can't be happy sometimes?"

"Not when you're as miserable as you are." He deadpanned.

I chose to ignore that statement. "I have a plan that will make this place a lot better."

He raised an eyebrow. "Go on."

"I need to get rid of Kabuto."

He stares at me blankly. "You want him dead or...?"

His death would be a luxury, and he most likely wouldn't be missed. "Not dead per se, just out of his position."

"What do you want me to do?"

Since he's a master hacker, he should be able to divert the brothel's funds to an unknown location without anyone finding out. "Take some money from the brothel and put it in an offshore account, preferably one with Kabuto's name attached to it."

"You want me to set him up?"

"It's not like he doesn't deserve it."

"Think about karma for a moment. Yeah, he's a terrible person, but we can't frame him something he didn't do."

"He's terrible at his job, he isn't worthy of being Orochimaru's right hand man, he should be a servant, or better yet on the streets since he isn't good enough for even _that_ low of a title."

"I see you feel strongly about this."

"Yes. And I can't do this without you."

He closes his eyes for a moment, leaving me feeling anxious. "Fine."

I subtlety exhaled in relief. "Thank you. It feels sort of weird using someone as a stepping stone to get ahead."

"It's okay, I guess. Life is a web of schemes, those with the most connections are bound to succeed." He sat on the edge of his bed. "Besides, it's not like I haven't been doing the same thing to you."

My eyes widened. "What?"

"You fit quite nicely in my plan. A little troublesome and risky to put everything on you, but in the end, I'm sure it'll be worth it."

I felt my blood turn cool. "I always had a hunch that you were planning something."

"I'm always plotting the downfall of others. It's the only way to be sure of winning."

"Winning? Winning what?"

He inspects his thumb nail and glances at me. "The prize of course." He stands up and places a hand on my shoulder. "The way I see things, there are puppets and there are masters. People vie to know their place in society. It's usually those who are considered the sheep of the farm."

"So all I am is a sheep to you?"

When he chuckles the uneasy feeling swells. "No." He bends down slightly. "You're so much more than that, you just don't know it yet." He whispers. He steps back and looks at me carefully. "I'll help you, on one condition."

I glance around the room to quell the confusion I felt. "And what's that?"

"I'll tell you later." He says furtively.

Here I thought I was the one that will finally start pulling the strings, but not quite. I'd have to overcome whatever control Sasuke has over me. But I don't want to go against him, I have enough enemies here. It's nice to have someone warm and encouraging by your side. He's a good person, just stuck in the wrong place.

I'm not making it any better by forcing him to pick between two sides.

**XoXoX**

I had a dream about a man who ruled a vast kingdom. He took control after a ruthless and incompetent ruler was overthrown by his people. The choice of the new leader wasn't universal; some wanted another person. Others just feared another tyrant running rampant.

Nevertheless, the man took charge and did his job.

Whether he met the satisfaction of the citizens has yet to be known, because I woke up.

I'd like to think that it has some sort of message. I never have dreams, so this might mean something.

A new leader.

That would be refreshing.

The hierarchy is starting to decay, it's high time for some new blood. I know I'm not the only one who thinks so. Kabuto's status as Orochimaru's right hand man has always been in question. He's worth nothing; and everyone would benefit if he no longer had any sort of power.

I don't know who the man is supposed to represent in real life. The man in my dream was faceless. He looked like a generic prototype human. Maybe he's supposed to be all of us- a united people fighting for the same cause and wanting the same results.

"Does anyone know if the schedule is planned yet?" Ami asked.

Cho snorted and rolled her eyes. "Weren't you supposed to do it?"

"No I think you were." Ami spat back.

"Don't talk back to me, you little-"

"Cho!" Hinata gasped.

"What?!"

Hinata sighed, regaining her composure. "Can you please calm down?"

"Can you please piss off? I'm fucking sick of your shit!"

My dream of all of us taking charge crumbled before me as I remembered the divide. From the looks of it, they'll never recover from it. The hall became livened with female voices at raised levels.

The range of emotions were angry, hurt, and confusion.

I was in the middle of a war, one that's caused by people fed up with everything. It's gotten to the point where they're nitpicking every minor thing about each other. There was no way to get a word in as my voice only blends in with the noise. I couldn't reach out to all of the girls. I agree with one side, but I'm still partial to the other.

Hinata pushed her way through the feuding girls, and stood in front of me with furrowed brows. "How are we going to fix this?" She was demanding an answer.

I started to walk away. "I'm not going to do anything."

"This affects you, not just us. Stop being so selfish."

I stop and turn my head. "I'm not being selfish. If they want to make up, then they'll do so on their own accord."

She laughs bitterly. "Of course you take the easy way out of things."

I want this to be easy, but no matter how much animosity there is between us, this on going fight will never be easy. I don't see her as a true enemy, she just brings the worst out of me. The distance that divides us is a necessary one for the sake of sanity.

You can only keep something simmering for so long before it boils over.

"Why would you want to change things anyway? They're fine as they are, we don't need to be their mediators."

"Sakura, you had a large hand in this-"

"Don't blame me. They believe whatever the hell they want to. I didn't force them to become realist, they chose to." I stepped closer to her. "Besides, this place is getting a little stale, we need a little conflict amongst us. The whole ''be there when you need it/shoulder to cry on'' is pathetic. You claim you want to make the girls strong, this war will do it."

She snorts. "Fine." She visibly got bolder. "I have no problem with knocking you down a few pegs."

"As if someone like you could accomplish that. Why don't you go somewhere and hope I'll be merciful to you."

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Don't expect you to be." I push past her and grab Cho.

She's undoubtedly the strongest person on my side.

"You need to put them in their place."

"I know and I will, but I need a little help."

"I'll do whatever as long as it shuts them up."

It shouldn't have to be this way. We should be able to stand together and overthrow Orochimaru and all his loyal servants. We outnumber them greatly, and most of us have the passion to liberate ourselves.

But we can't.

Which is why in division, we might accomplish something.

**XoXoX**

I felt a sense of joy as Sasuke was about to begin planting the seeds of my plan. He glances at me for confirmation. We were about to manipulate the boss into making our lives a bit better. I smile and nod, the sooner the better.

"I don't want to alarm you but, I was looking over this month's profits and I noticed that the math doesn't add up."

Orochimaru lifts his head up from the computer screen.

"We're missing eight percent of what we're supposed to have."

The man sighs. This isn't the first time funds have turned up missing. The first couple of times we attributed the cause to be due to Rinji's drinking and frequent vacations. But now the money has _mysteriously_ disappeared. "Find Kabuto, I'm sure he knows about this."

I stood up as Sasuke left. I don't feel bad for what I'm about to do because Kabuto doesn't have a soul and his name is the equivalent of dirt. "I don't think Kabuto is the right person to handle important tasks."

"Is that so?" There was a faint glint of interest in his eyes.

I nod. "He's been making far too many mistakes around here. Some of which could cost you your business. You need someone more competent to run things. Kabuto has lost his touch and Rinji can't stay sober for more than five minutes."

He smirks.

"You wanted to see me sir?" Kabuto asked in a timid manner.

"Money is being siphoned from profits and going to an unknown source." He said in a way that could be mistaken as pleasant. "Tell me what you know about that."

The change in the man's tone frightened him. His hands began to shake and a bead of sweat rolled down his face. "Well I filed the taxes a bit late so-"

"And why is that?" Orochimaru was growing increasingly aggravated at his once most reliable servant.

"Um..."

Even though I hate Kabuto, I decided to divert the master's attention from him before he passes out. "Does it really matter now? The point is, he screwed up and it's time for someone else to take his place."

"What?!" He exclaimed angrily. "Listen you little bitch, I've got way more knowledge and-"

"Enough." Orochimaru intervened. "She's right. Another mistake like that could ruin everything." He eyed the trembling male. "However, I believe Kabuto may redeem himself. With that said, I'll leave the position open for a week, and I'll give it to whoever I see fit afterward."

"My lord-"

"Actions speak louder than words Kabuto." He said bluntly.

The look in his eyes clearly showed he was crestfallen. He bows politely and leaves, giving me a dirty glare on the way out.

"Who do you have in mind for the position?" I asked in a borderline demanding tone.

"Why do you want to know?"

I shrug carelessly. "I just want to know who my competition is."

"I wouldn't worry too much about it."

I couldn't help but to worry.

I want to be in charge, so I can't afford to lose to anyone.

Life here is starting to turn into a game.

Everyone knows that in every game there are winners and losers.

I've been a loser all my life.

This is my shot at redemption, and no one is going to stand in my way of achieving it.

At this point, I don't care who I have to take down.

**XoXoX**

Everyone has a group of people that share the same mindset. With one in a million people being exactly alike and there are about seven billion people on this earth, that would make seven thousand replicas of the same person. Polar opposites get along fine, because their differences are what keeps the relationship dynamic. However, people get a special type of feeling when being amongst people that are almost like themselves.

I almost feel happy when I'm around Cho, Yoko, and Aoki.

I thought my mindset might be too radical for anyone to connect to, my opinions are like boulders, and I'm heavily set in my ways. Yet I sitting here with a group of girls that feel exactly the same way I do.

It brings an odd sense of comfort, that I'm not completely familiar with.

"Are you above slander?" Aoki asked.

"I'd like to keep this war as civil as possible." After all, they weren't our number one enemy.

Cho nods. "Making petty comments will only make us seem immature and not able to run the business." If our timing is right, we could provoke them into verbally attacking us. That in it of itself is a plan destined to fail.

I feel like I'm on the road to restitution, after driving through so many hills of disappointment. I like the feeling and don't want it to waiver. If only there were a way to make sure that everything else falls into place.

All wars have carefully constructed strategy plans to ensure victory.

"So what should we do?" Yoko questioned.

I have none.

Well I have a few, but they're too soul crushing and extreme to carry out. I find that it's highly unnecessary to completely wipe out the competition. Someone has to be around to clean up the aftermath.

"Just prove that we're better than them. We have to make Orochimaru see that we're the best choice." I replied, avoiding specific strategies.

There's a tactical way about gaining power. The process will go largely unnoticed by the masses, so there won't be any questions or uprisings. Plus, Orochimaru might credit me for pulling off such a plan. A drawback is that it takes a lot of time and numerous baby steps. Making sure everything goes in my favor is a meticulous deed. I've dealt with these conditions for too long, so my patience is a bit thin.

However, it's very efficient.

The first step has been commenced long before I thought of this plan, and that is to get rid of the person whose position I planned to take. Kabuto, to a very slight extent, is Orochimaru's right hand man. Even though that means nothing now because the man views Kabuto as a low level servant, if given to someone else it would mean a lot.

Why?

Because that means he trusts them, or deems them competent enough to do the important things Kabuto used to do. Having Orochimaru's trust is nothing like freedom, but I can image that it's the next best thing.

Now all I need is a solid plan to get things going.

**XoXoX**

"Hey Sakura, do me a huge favor and take care of the laundry. I have to get drinks for some esteemed clientele."

"Yeah sure." I wasn't planning on doing anything outside of sleeping.

"You're a saint." She exasperated happily.

When I turned on the light, I was expecting to see a pile of clothes. Instead I saw Kabuto leaning against the counter, arms crossed and a smug look on his face.

"I wouldn't be smirking if I were you."

"But you're not me, so you don't have any idea what I'm smirking about."

I narrowed my eyes at him. Even while descending to a meaningless role, he's still his same arrogant self. "I'm glad you're handling this so gracefully."

He snorts. "It's nothing really. I have nothing to prove to the likes of you, only to Lord Orochimaru."

"The master thinks no better of you. He's only giving you a second chance as a source of amusement."

His posture straightens as he shrugs. "Maybe so." The distance between us methodically got smaller with each step he took. "But I have a lot of tricks up my sleeve. If I execute one of them, then my fate will see to it that I remain by his side."

"You can't expect everything to go according to plan."

His eyes twinkled with an amount of joy that I haven't seen in a while. "That's the beauty of it my dear, it can fail, but I'll still be on top."

My heart slowly sunk to the pit of my stomach.

"My fate is sealed, and all I have to do is sit back and watch everything unfold."

I felt a slight twitch of anger. "Why are you telling me this?"

His face straightened to a more solemn expression. "I have a proposition for you."

Even though the thought of being affiliated with Kabuto in any way is revolting, my interest was piqued. "Go on."

"You and I team up, we take out our competition, show we can handle administrative tasks, and reap the fruits of our labor."

I laugh. It sounds way too good to be true. "I'm supposed to believe that I can trust you not to throw me under the bus."

"Well you threw me under the bus earlier. Besides, it's not like you have much choice in the matter. For you see, if I do this alone, you'll suffer greatly. I might make it worse for you especially, to remind you of the deal you should've taken. But if we do this together, I keep my place, and you take Rinji's. We both win."

The strategy sounded golden.

Maybe it's because as of right now, I don't have much plans for how I'm going to make Orochimaru see that I'm a better candidate than Hinata or Kabuto. It does seem like a smart thing to do, at least until I can find a way to get rid of him.

"I'll leave you to think about that. When you've made your choice, hopefully the right one, than you know where to find me." He leaves, feeling completely satisfied with himself.


End file.
